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Rules-------------

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by tonyh, Mar 3, 2004.

  1. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    e always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
    rules from the male side. These are our rules:-

    1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try
    to change that.

    2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
    down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
    about you leaving it down.

    3. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.

    4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
    that way.

    5. Crying is blackmail.

    6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
    not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
    it!

    7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
    what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
    fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
    yourself.

    13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.

    14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

    15. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,
    for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Lilac is a flower. We have no
    idea what mauve is.

    16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
    hassle.

    18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
    you don't want to hear.

    19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    Really.

    20. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

    21. You have enough clothes.

    22. You have too many shoes.

    23. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    24. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    settee tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
    camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!
     
  2. tifosi69

    tifosi69 Formula 3

    Dec 23, 2003
    1,671
    Atlanta, Ga.
    Full Name:
    Al-Al Cool J
    These are all so true.
     
  3. formula1joe

    formula1joe Formula Junior

    Nov 3, 2003
    436
    Atlanta, GA
    Full Name:
    Joe Bennett
    Number 20 should be at the top of the list.
     

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