Smart Ass Replies

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by car-ographer, Dec 1, 2007.

  1. car-ographer

    car-ographer Karting

    Nov 15, 2005
    homeless in LA :-(
    Full Name:
    Jessica G.
    Found this on, of all places, MySpace....thought it was pretty funny and thought I would share:


    Smart Ass Answer ..5:
    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed at her.
    Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

    Smart Ass Answer ..4:
    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
    The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

    Smart Ass Answer ..3:
    The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
    "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

    Smart Ass Answer ..2:
    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
    Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
    Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
    The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
    "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
    The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand
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  3. 250californiafan

    250californiafan Formula 3
    Rossa Subscribed

    Sep 26, 2006
    Shawnee, KS
    Full Name:
    Those were great, especially the last one.
  4. agup48

    agup48 Two Time F1 World Champ

    Apr 15, 2006
    Full Name:
    Very funny
  5. RacerX_GTO

    RacerX_GTO F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Nov 2, 2003
    Full Name:
    Gabe V.
    #2 - Bill Engvall.... "here's your sign"
  6. tatcat

    tatcat F1 Veteran
    Silver Subscribed Owner

    Sep 3, 2001
    panama city beach FL
    Full Name:
    rick c
    i had a nun who told me if you want to be a smartass, first you'd better get smart.
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  8. rollsorferrari?

    rollsorferrari? F1 Veteran

    Jun 5, 2006
    St. Louis
    Full Name:
    lol, some oldies in there, but definitely still good ones.

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