Sniff Petrols "Guide to the 2015 season"....

Fast_ian · Sep 7, 2017

Hey,

Couldn't really find anywhere else to put this, but it's so damn good I figured it deserved it's own thread.....

I won't hijack the whole thing, just add the link below, but here's a sample:

McLAREN

Full name: McLaren Honda Ask About Our Sponsorship Opportunities

Car: MP4-30

Engine: Hondaaaaargh

Drivers: Fernando Alonso, Jenson Button, Ken Magnussen (temp agency staff)

McLaren enter the 2015 season with what Ron Dennis would call a velocity and functionality deficit and a race vehicle which has the substantial qualities of canine faeces. The drivers are clearly dismayed that the MP4-30 has all the pace and reliability of a 1983 Formula Ford car found in a canal and this is especially true for Ken Magnussen who found the whole thing hilarious until he was told he would have to drive the piece of **** in an actual race and promptly tried to get out of it by having a crash. Meanwhile, Jenson Buttons life is being made harder by Mark Webber who keeps texting him pictures of things that are faster than the McLaren such as his Porsche 919, his dog and his house. The real loser in all of this is Fernando Alonso who, following concussion suffered in testing, has no memory of how ****ty the car is and will be in a for a horrible surprise when he comes back. Just to add to McLarens woes, their new logo has been described as too exciting.
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Enjoy!

2015 Formula 1 guide « Sniff Petrol

Cheers,
Ian
EDIT; Their "too exciting logo";
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IamRobG · Sep 7, 2017

That was some funny stuff. Including this on the home page.
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sammysaber · Mar 31, 2015

Brilliant stuff - the Lotus write up was hilarious hehe....

Best, Sammy

FastLapp · Apr 1, 2015

SniffPetrol said:

As in 2014, local primary school teacher Valerie Bottas shoulders the burden of being the good driver whilst Felipe Massa plays to his strengths of turning up on time, being reasonably polite and looking as if everything about Formula 1 moderately terrifies him.
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HAHAHA

toil · Apr 1, 2015

the lotus one is funny

LOTUS
Full name: Lotus F1 Team hashtag
Car: E23
Engine: Mercedes
Drivers: Romain Grosjean, Pastor Maldonado
The team with the most non-existent no-claims bonus on the grid return for another season having ditched the dreadful old misfiring engines from a Renault 25 that used to arrive in a broken box from France. With strong, reliable Mercedes power Lotus will have to find another way to avoid getting respectable results which brings us neatly to their drivers. Grosjean seems set to continue looking like a rural simpleton and driving like a man with strong talent but very poor eyesight, whilst Maldonado will give the impression that he has simply no idea what any of the controls do or where the track goes until, on about lap 12, he has an underwhelming accident of such predictability that they won’t even bother to show it on television leaving fans to spend the rest of the race wondering if he’***** a wall or simply become so confused that he’s accidentally driven out of an access road and is currently scraping the E23 against the bollards outside a McDonald’s drive-through.
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Sniff Petrols "Guide to the 2015 season"....

Fast_ian Two Time F1 World Champ

IamRobG F1 Rookie

sammysaber Formula Junior

FastLapp F1 Rookie

toil F1 Rookie BANNED

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Sniff Petrols "Guide to the 2015 season"....

Fast_ian Two Time F1 World Champ

IamRobG F1 Rookie

sammysaber Formula Junior

FastLapp F1 Rookie

toil F1 Rookie BANNED

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