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Some IDIOT will indeed do it!

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Horsefly, Nov 14, 2005.

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  1. Horsefly

    Horsefly F1 Veteran

    May 14, 2002
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    #1 Horsefly, Nov 14, 2005
    There is a chill in the fall air, the holidays are coming on, and this can only mean one thing:

    Somewhere, somehow, some idiot is going to burn down his house with one of those propane powered, deep fat turkey fryers that use about 3 gallons of flammable peanut oil slopping over the sides into the flame belching burner! There is always some idiot who doesn't account for the volume of the turkey itself and pours 5 full gallons of peanut oil into the pot. Then after 30 minutes of "full throttle burner" application, with the oil searing hot and smoking, he slam dunks the turkey into the pot causing about 3 gallons of sizzling oil to slop over the sides right into the flaming burner. Instant flamethrower! Gallons of flaming oil go spilling all over the cooking area which just happens to be: the wooden deck on his back porch!

    Only a matter of minutes before the whole house goes up.
     
  2. whart

    whart F1 Veteran
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    #2 whart, Nov 14, 2005
    ARlie: I'm not going to ask how you know this.
     
  3. BMW.SauberF1Team

    BMW.SauberF1Team F1 World Champ

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    #3 BMW.SauberF1Team, Nov 14, 2005
    IIRC All-State commercial.
     
  4. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

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    #4 Kds, Nov 14, 2005
    I cannot possibly envision what the person must look like who deep fries an entire turkey.
     
  5. whart

    whart F1 Veteran
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    #5 whart, Nov 14, 2005
    Actually, i'm told deep fried turkey is a delicacy in certain parts of the country.
     
  6. Modenafan

    Modenafan F1 World Champ
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    #6 Modenafan, Nov 14, 2005
    I have friends that prepare their turkey that way every year. I'm told it's more flavorful and jucier than one from the oven.
     
  7. Rifledriver

    Rifledriver Three Time F1 World Champ

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    #7 Rifledriver, Nov 14, 2005
    Arlie, what about all those people that will take their entire family to meet their makers because it was too cold to BBQ outside and moved their favorite charcoal grill indoors? Happens a couple of times a year.
     
  8. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

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    #8 Kds, Nov 14, 2005
    Really.....!!

    I hate deep fried chicken......and can only imagine what turkey must be like that has been saturated in boiling oil for hours.

    Oh well.......back to my lettuce and alfalfa sprouts !!
     
  9. spang308

    spang308 Formula Junior

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    #9 spang308, Nov 14, 2005
    That reminds me of a fire at the beach in MD two years ago. The condo owner told the renters to empty any charcoal from the grill if they used it. They followed his directions to a T, only they dumped the still glowing embers into a cardboard box and sat it on the deck. Followed promply by combustion taking the deck with it.

    How do these people survive to muck up the gene pool???

    John
     
  10. TestShoot

    TestShoot F1 World Champ
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    #10 TestShoot, Nov 14, 2005
    Umm, right here bro. We did it in the wilds of La Canada CA near our poolhouse. You expecting guys named 'skeeter' that drive 1973 Ford pickups?

    We did it last year for the first time, it is actually WAY better than regular slow baked turkey, more moist, more flavor.

    The problem is the oil gets heated to beyond flashpoint, all it takes is one spark and toasty you be.
     
  11. sparta49

    sparta49 F1 Veteran
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    #11 sparta49, Nov 14, 2005
    Don't knock it til you tried it
     
  12. Horsefly

    Horsefly F1 Veteran

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    #12 Horsefly, Nov 14, 2005
    More commonly known as "hibachicide". The only thing that I've heard worse is the tale about the VERY elderly couple that decided to spend some time in the hot tub. Trouble was, the hot tub was TOO hot and the couple was TOO feeble to get out before they both succumb to the effects of the intensely hot water.

    They weren't found until about 3 days later.

    Visualize the scene: 2 old people boiling in a giant crock pot for 3 days.
     
  13. Erich

    Erich Formula 3

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    #13 Erich, Nov 14, 2005
    There was a car fire in the parking lot during a San Diego Padres game this year.

    You guessed it, somebody had a tailgate party and put the grill away in the trunk of the car. Coals still present and hot.................
     
  14. Erich

    Erich Formula 3

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    #14 Erich, Nov 14, 2005
    This year like many others I will be cooking the turkey in a Weber BBQ.

    Takes about 4 hours and it makes one awesome holiday meal.

    The fact that I will be cooking on the grass at La Jolla cove in shirt sleeve weather makes it even sweeter.

    Erich
     
  15. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

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    #15 Kds, Nov 14, 2005
    Actually, given that I have "never" heard of deep frying an entire whole turkey (must be the lack of cable TV in my cave)........and the somewhat sarcastic nature of Arlie's post........I was more inclined to say they'd be driving an AMC Pacer with NASCAR stickers and were named Jebidiah......but whatever......LOL !!
     
  16. Ferrariguy2

    Ferrariguy2 F1 Rookie

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    #16 Ferrariguy2, Nov 14, 2005
    I recommend deep frying it with a nice batter as well.... Oh, and x-mas Turkey should always be served in a bucket! lol
     
  17. coolestkidever

    coolestkidever F1 Veteran

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    #17 coolestkidever, Nov 14, 2005
    I USED TO LIVE THERE!!!!!!
     
  18. darth550

    darth550 Six Time F1 World Champ
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    #18 darth550, Nov 14, 2005
    ....and this guy has relatives! ;)

    Every year, after the first big rain, one of them decides to shoot the rapids down the LA River and drowns!
     
  19. Horsefly

    Horsefly F1 Veteran

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    #19 Horsefly, Nov 14, 2005
  20. FarmerDave

    FarmerDave F1 World Champ
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    #20 FarmerDave, Nov 14, 2005
  21. M512

    M512 Formula Junior

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    #21 M512, Nov 14, 2005
    You beat me to it!

    I was actually suprised (pleasantly) when I started looking into this that IF it is prepared properly, a the fat content of a fried verus baked dry (the way I've always done it) is really negligeable. It only takes 3 minutes/ lb to cook the turkey, so it's not soaking in there for 5 hours. It's not battered like KFC either, which is where most of the fat is in KFC (the batter). For example, several sources I read about stated that the entire turkey only absorbes approx 1 Tablespoon of the oil, IF cooked at the proper temp. I posted one of the many articles on it in the thread FD directed you to.

    Learn something new every day!
     
  22. whart

    whart F1 Veteran
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    #22 whart, Nov 14, 2005
    I'm shocked that any self-respecting redneck would actually go to a place like Walmart to buy a turkey frier. I always thought you guys converted the whiskey still to a turkey frier for the holiday, and then plugged it back into a still as soon as the turkey came out. To quote Goober,
    'Well, FUuuuuuck Me.'
     
  23. M512

    M512 Formula Junior

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    #23 M512, Nov 14, 2005
    The whiskey still is far too important to shut down, even for Thanksgiving!
     
  24. luke9583

    luke9583 Formula 3

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    #24 luke9583, Nov 14, 2005
    so... THAT's how it happens!
     
  25. Horsefly

    Horsefly F1 Veteran

    May 14, 2002
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    #25 Horsefly, Nov 14, 2005
    Whiskey stills are pretty much outdated here in Hillybillyville. Back in the late 60s, the good ole boys switched to growing weed for bigger profits. And within the past 10 years or so, crystal meth is the big money maker for those who haven't fried their brain by sampling too much of their own product. Since the late 60s, it hasn't been a good idea to venture too far into the woods without packing at least a .38 pistol or something larger. The meth cookers are routinely packing up their labs in a couple of ice chests and taking to the woods to do their cooking. I stumbled across the remains of a make-shift meth lab a few months ago in an old building on some property that was for sale. A few dozen empty Sudafed packets is a pretty good indicator that somebody was NOT suffering from a bad cold.
    I saw an old whiskey still one time. Two giant metal boilers sitting at the base of the bank of an old pond. Surrounded by a dense thicket of pine trees. The "revenuers" had found it decades earlier and dynamited the boilers. They were ripped open like giant tin cans.
     
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