Squeak-and-rattle elimination artists in California?

Why not just open the door panels yourself? If you don't know how then google/youtube it. Tighten everything you can, lube window tracks and latches with a dry lube, minimize squeeks and rattles with the soft part of velcro, and maybe add some dynomat for some vibration dampening.

 

Having been involved or performed (successfully) these types of services, mostly on vintage cars with few exceptions including almost or brand new "high end" (think Bentley, Ferrari & MB) examples, I'll say jobs like this can easily become very time consuming & involved (= costly), especially if/when components like dashes, etc need to be removed to access problematic areas and recommend not to be undertaken by weak hearted or with light wallet.
2010 Silverado I bought new has had (very) annoying small noises/rattles/squeaks since the day one, but with aforementioned experiences, I've never made attempts to sort them out. I just hope my next new truck will be manufactured better (though not holding my breath on that regard).

 

All true. Most manufacturers only observe a 30-60 day period for fixing squeaks and rattles on new cars and we were always happy when that limit passed. It can be very time consuming and expensive.

 

And personally, I don't think much "artistry" is involved, just patience and perseverance along with basic abilities for critical thinking to come up with a useful solution and skills to apply it.