To all you new parents out there

sorry, i read something about a regimented baby-eating schedule and now i'm hungry.

gotta go check the fridge....

 

I am not sure but wanted to say the baby is adorable.

Good luck

Antony

 

Dr Ferber is Gods gift to sleep deprived parents.

One night when my first son was about 10 weeks old, he awoke crying about 11 pm. ( He'd been down about 2 hrs). I went in to pick him up and see what was wrong. The moment I put him up on my shoulder he quieted down and was asleep inside of 30 seconds. He was not hungry or wet. He just woke up and needed to be comforted. It was a classic scenario out of Ferbers book. The next night we began Ferberizing. It took two nights and he has had stellar sleeping habits ever since. He is 11 today.

 

sleep is always the biggest issue. my oldest is now 3 1/2 did not sleep thru the night until he was 20 months. we tried everything, he was a very needy baby. from the moment he popped out he cried for hrs at a time and not 2hrs no he'd cry for 8~10hrs striaght like we were cutting him to peices. it was absolutly horrible. there were many days he was left to cry alone becouse if we didn't walk away we would have killed him, i'm not joking. this lasted for 1yr.

we figured he was the spawn of the devil back to pay us for past evil deeds it was so bad. then like a light switch at 20months he slept thru the night.

the youngest and newest is now 11mth old and from day one he slept hrs at a time. we had to work at keeping him awake for feedings. he slept for the first three days. and has always slept thru the night. 8pm~7am unless he's teething and that'll throw out another curve ball.

it was good thing he's been so good, becouse my wife serously considered abortion or adoption as she would not go thru another one like the first. she had lots of anxiety attacks during the pregnancy becouse she was worried we'd repeat the hell of the last 2yrs.

so here we are two kids same parents and they are 180* different from each other. so in my opnion each child has different needs and the books alot of these docs/people put out are hit and miss.

don't get me wrong, my oldest is a great son. happy, loves to help with his little brother and loves to play and share his toys. very different from his start on life.

 

i'm glad i stuck it out also, as little camden is my twin and gavin is my wifes.

the old pic is me...
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Pic #1 Cute as all!!!

Pic #2 UGLY AS SIN!!!!!!

 

thems my prison stripes

 

The answer is that no 2 are ever alike - a routine that makes one kid happy & sleepy just won't work for another. You just have to go by trial & error till you find what works - but routine & boundaries are definitly at the core of everything to do with bringing up kids & keeping your sanity.

They'll eat you for breakfast if you don't give them structure and boundaries/limits and it needs doing as early as possible. So many parents don't do it & then wonder why they have the screaming "I Want....." 3/4/5 year old - by which time its mostly too late to bring them back into line.

I.

 

Can only say what we have done, whether or not it will work for someone else is anyones question..

Firstly, routine is absolutely essential. Need to feed, bath and put to bed at the same time as much as possible - I found that even getting my son (17months) to bed 1 hour late will rock the boat - he will still get up at the same time in the morning, and with less sleep be more cranky. His normal sleeping habit is 7pm-7am. We are living a dream now. Was not always like this.

At about 8 months of age we could not take the night waking anymore so we went to see the 'sleep doctor' who i assume is Australias equivalent to the person you are referring to as Ferber in this thread.

The basic story is let them cry it out - we did it cold turkey, that is, put him to bed at 7pm and do NOT have contact with him until at least 11.5hrs later. Two exceptions to this rule - if the child is sick or you feel they are in immediate danger, then go in there. Once they are sleeping you go in and tuck them back in or change a nappy if they did a poo.

The first night we started it actually worked - he cried for about 20mins then went to sleep - cried for 20seconds maybe twice thru the night and re-settled himself. Too good to be true we thought...

The next 5 nights were living hell - he cried for hours - SOLID, ANGRY crying, then fell asleep. Woke many times thru the night crying his ASS off... very difficult on us, especially the mother - its natural to want to go in and comfort the child...

However, powering thru that first week or 2 was totally worth it. He is an excellent sleeper now, goes down at 7pm easliy and no longer wakes up crying in the morning either - he is getting enough sleep.

Another thing we found was that once he was getting a better/longer sleep, his eating improved too. Feeding him was no longer a drama - he just scoffed down his food...

Here is the website of the Aussie doc I am talking about... has some other good tips and info on there too...

http://silentnights.org/

Hope this is of some help to others who may be having a hard time... it DOES GET BETTER!!!!!

 

You are correct. I did not make my point clear. (What else is new?).

The moment I picked up my kid and he went to sleep, I realized that Ferber was correct. He needed to learn how to comfort himself.
So we began the Ferber process the next night. It worked great!

 

we tried that with the gaven however he figured out that if he threw himself across his crib and smacked his head he'd get attention. we talked to the doc and she said you don't want him to hurt himself but most kids won't anyway. well my kids not most kids and proceeded to knock himself silly. managed to hit his head hard enough to vomit. and that was the end of the 'cry it out' campaign. he's way toooo stuborn, my mom laughs... thank god those days are over.

 

SMG2,

Handsome boys you got there!!!

As for your picture, what is it about the sixties & seventies??? I think EVERYONE has a baby picture of themselves in some freaky outfit leaning forward on a box of shag carpet @ JC Pennys....You guys would really like mine, it is the same as yours except I am sportin' my 'fro!!!!

 

thanks,

back in the day those clothes were horrible, my sisteer had these socks that were multi colored earth tone stripes with the seperate toes like gloves. the late 60's and 70's sure had some scary outfits. then the 80's showed up, uuuuuugh!

 

Your kid is a DOLL.

My wife and I didn't ferberize our daughter. we were lucky enough that she would sleep through the night. Except recently the teething issue wakes her up from now and then...

Here is a picture of my little one
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Ferber is the only way to go with sleep routines. My first kid was a tough one, but after we read the book when we had our second child we 'cured' both of them, and the third kid was a piece of cake. A friend at work gave me the book, and I have enjoyed 14 years of sleeping without child interruption since then. Our kids sleep like a bag of rocks, never hear the traffic or trains that are near our house.
BT

 

This is about the best basic parenting advice I have read. Boundaries are the foundation of a well adjusted child.
BT

 

Grandma already got her a convertible
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