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T'Was The Night Before Christmas, 2005...!

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by 134282, Dec 23, 2005.

  1. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
    California
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the board
    Not a poster was posting, not even Lamour…

    John was on Google, jerking his penis
    While sending lewd emails, flirting with Venus…

    Arlie was home, moaning and bitchin’
    Gus was at Galloway, choking the chicken…

    Dave Scott isn’t here, and neither is Faisal
    And Art just sued me for this poem for libel…

    Farmer Dave and the Texans are bar-hopping all winter
    While Randy Schatten is busy fixing my printer…

    The members in Nawlins are putting up dry wall
    While Wax is at home, shining his eyeball…

    When all of a sudden, from out of the blue
    “Santa!” I said, “I didn’t doubt it was you!”

    “It’s so nice to see you this cold Christmas eve!”
    He looked pretty pissed and had coal up his sleeve…

    “All of you chatters have been naughty as shit!”
    His face was red; I thought he was sick…

    “You too, Carbon, you’re such a disgrace!”
    I barely dodged the coal he chucked at my face…

    “Dude! Chill out! That wasn’t that nice!”
    “You spend too much time on this fuckin’ chat site!”

    And with that he went nuts, “I hate all of you here!”
    And that’s when I noticed his faulty new beard…

    Then all of a sudden, I heard such a clatter
    I averted my attention, discerning the matter…

    I saw what resembled a sleigh run amuck
    “But Santa’s not in it… Hey, what the fuck…?!?”

    The sled swooped down and sitting before me
    Was the real Kris Kringle, brimming with fury…

    “Who is this man who pretends to be St. Nick…?”
    “I don’t know, Santa, but he acts like St. Dick!”

    The real Santa lunged for the sham Santa’s throat
    The fake Kringle ducked and then grabbed Santa’s coat…

    I ran to help Santa when he got yoked up
    That’s when everyone from F-Chat showed up…

    “Do what you want, chump, it’s your choice…”
    Holy shit! It was Gus and the Boyz…!

    “Make your decision and make it with haste”
    “Let go of Santa, or we’re breakin’ your face…”

    He let go of Santa, while crying with fear
    “Who are you?” Bruce said, “And why are you hear?”

    The fake Santa tore off his hat and his beard
    I didn’t know before, but that made it clear…

    He stood there in silence, his face was just empty
    Believe it or not, it was that crazy fuck Gentry…

    “Get outta here!” I said, “Or they’ll come for you!”
    “Take your hat and your beard and your tail number, too!”

    Gentry took off, and was never seen again
    Santa was happy, “I thought I’d never breathe again…”

    “Thank you, FerrariChat, you saved Christmas eve”
    He smiled and laughed, “That’s a great gift for me!”

    And with that he went over and climbed in his sleigh
    “Santa, no gifts? We tried to behave!”

    “Ho, Ho, Ho, Carbon! Lend me your ear”
    “The greatest gifts you can have are the friends you have here!”

    “Everyone here looks out for each other”
    “It’s like everyone here has thousands of brothers…”

    And with that he took off in the cold Christmas night
    I looked at my friends and new ol’ Chris was right…

    The greatest gifts I could have are the friends I have here
    Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year.
     
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  3. MarkPDX

    MarkPDX F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Apr 21, 2003
    11,202
    Gulf Coast
  4. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,080
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.
    LMAO Excellent and well done mate.
     
  5. Carrera_gtcrazy

    Carrera_gtcrazy F1 Veteran

    Oct 24, 2004
    5,387
    Munich, Germany
    Full Name:
    Stephan Bauer
    LOL that was great Carbon! Great job! :D
     
  6. KennyH

    KennyH F1 Veteran
    Owner

    Aug 13, 2001
    5,227
    NYC
    Full Name:
    Kenny
    CHEERS! Happy holidays Carbon, I'm very fortunate to have met such a loyal, good hearted friend as you..
     
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  8. Dom

    Dom F1 Veteran
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    Nov 5, 2002
    7,941
    Southern California
    Full Name:
    Dom V.
    Good one Carbon!! Great Job!

    Happy holidays, and best wishes to you.

    Dom
     
  9. DrStranglove

    DrStranglove FChat Assassin
    Rossa Subscribed Owner

    Oct 31, 2003
    25,611
    Google Maps
    Full Name:
    DrS
    A new classic!!!!
     
  10. FarmerDave

    FarmerDave F1 World Champ
    Consultant

    Jul 26, 2004
    15,167
    Full Name:
    IgnoranteWest
    #8 FarmerDave, Dec 23, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  11. ILuv4Res

    ILuv4Res F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Aug 8, 2002
    6,509
    Full Name:
    Fred
    LMAO......... Go Carbon!!!! :)
     
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  13. SefacHotRodder

    SefacHotRodder F1 World Champ

    Dec 20, 2003
    10,918
    NJ
    Full Name:
    Chris
    Good work carbon. Bravo



    btw, how come your swear words were'nt starred out? :D
     
  14. matteo

    matteo F1 World Champ

    Aug 1, 2002
    13,748
    On a plane somewhere
    Full Name:
    Heir Butt
  15. Alex_V

    Alex_V F1 Rookie
    BANNED

    Apr 8, 2004
    3,608
    Boulder, CO
    Full Name:
    Alex
    INCREDIBLE!!!!!!
     
  16. Webby

    Webby F1 Veteran

    Sep 12, 2004
    6,789
    Great job Carbon!
     
  17. ghost

    ghost F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Dec 10, 2003
    9,845
    Singapore
    Genius. Best wishes for the Holiday Season. May 2006 brings more Ferrari's and NNO's into your life - one way or another - then you could ever dream possible.
     
  18. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Mar 25, 2004
    20,080
    Wales-UK
    Full Name:
    Steve.

    How did he do that **** no!! fu*k no!! then maybe fuck
     
  19. Rexcoltrain

    Rexcoltrain Formula Junior

    Nov 6, 2003
    670
    Oahu, Hawaii
    I thought for sure it was Allanlambo, but no, it was Gentry!! Bravo!
     
  20. jordan747_400

    jordan747_400 F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Dec 9, 2002
    6,926
    Houston, TX
    Full Name:
    Jordan Witherspoon
    Very nice!!! :)

    Dont know how you do it! You are very creative my friend :)
     
  21. andrewg

    andrewg F1 Rookie
    BANNED

    Sep 10, 2002
    4,667
    Chester, England
    Full Name:
    AndrewG
    Great poem, it feels like Christmas now
     
  22. Ike

    Ike F1 Rookie

    Nov 4, 2003
    3,488
    great work, that was too funny.
     
  23. sparta49

    sparta49 F1 Veteran
    Owner

    Mar 3, 2001
    7,794
    LA
    Full Name:
    Frank
    Great job.
     
  24. SrfCity

    SrfCity F1 Veteran

    Nov 1, 2003
    9,842
    Orange County, CA
    Fantastic. Merry XMas!!!!!
     
  25. CMY

    CMY F1 Veteran

    Oct 15, 2004
    9,915
    Redondo Beach, CA
    Full Name:
    Chris
    Amazing!
     
  26. LetsJet

    LetsJet F1 Veteran
    Owner

    May 24, 2004
    9,238
    DC/LA/Paris/Haleiwa
    Full Name:
    Mr.
    Real nice, Carbon..........

    Merry Christmas
     
  27. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
    California
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    Thanks, everyone... These are so much fun to write...

    For those of you new to the board, here's the one from last year and here's the one from 2003... i hope everyone has a happy, wonderful, safe, warm, fun holiday seaosn.
     
  28. Malfoy

    Malfoy Formula 3

    Mar 22, 2004
    1,960
    Hampton, VA

    You rock. Merry CHRISTMAS! Keep up the good work and I look forward to sharing my 134282 with you in the future. :)
     

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