Making friends by Michele Elliot Richard, 11 "I want to make friends, but I don't know how. In my last school I was bullied and kicked around and didn't have any friend. The kids at this school seems to be OK, but I just know I'll do something wrong. Help." Funny, isn't it, that we just think everyone knows how to make friends. A lot of people don't and I have even found that some bullies end up bullying because they don't know what to do either. Then they get stuck with the label of bully and don't know how to change. Perhaps the best way to think about making friends is to decide what makes a friend. I asked a group of 13 year old boys and girls to come up with a list of what they liked about their friends. They said that good friends: show an interest in what people do are good at giving compliments without going overboard go around with a pleasant expression on their face laugh at people's jokes are kind ask, not demand, to join in offer to help others with work or carry things invite people to do something hang around places where other students are are welcoming to new students are good at thinking of something interesting to do are willing to share are humorous and tell jokes are fair are good at organising games or activities How not to make friends I then asked the students to think about ways NOT to make friends. They thought that doing the following would turn people off: being bossy telling others how to play telling others they are doing things wrong talking about yourself all the time being mean talking about other students behind their backs being negative and sarcastic being too intense or serious all the time bragging moaning all the time being a bully claiming credit for something you didn't do lying or cheating Looking at what the students said, let's answer Richard's question. I think that Richard's problems stem from the time he was bullied. He has lost his confidence to make and keep friends. Not having friends is very difficult . You can imagine the lonely feelings when you have no one to sit with at lunch or play with or go to places with on the weekends.
