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Wednesday Joke------------------

Discussion in 'United Kingdom' started by tonyh, Feb 4, 2004.

  1. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    An Irish petrol station was trying to increase
    it's sales so the owner put up a sign saying "Free
    Sex with every tank of petrol."

    Soon Paddy pulls in, fills his tank,
    and then asks for his free sex.

    The owner told him pick a number from (1) to (10),
    if he guessed correctly, he would get his Free sex.

    Paddy then guessed (8), the proprietor said,
    "You were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no
    sex this time."

    A week later Paddy, along with his pal Mick,
    pulled in for a fill-up, again he asked for his
    free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same
    story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
    Paddy guessed (2) this time, again the
    proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close,
    but no free sex this time."

    As they were driving away, Paddy says to Mick
    "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't
    really give away free sex." Mick replied, "No it isn't
    Paddy, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."
     
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  3. 360CS

    360CS F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    2,641
    Kent
    Full Name:
    Joe J
    Nice one Tony,

    pressures on for one of your Daily "jolly jokes" every day now mate...lol
     
  4. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    No prob , Joe. My mate Warren has an unlimited supply of top gags....
    T
     
  5. sletti

    sletti F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 19, 2003
    5,084
    NW Kent
    Full Name:
    Stig W
    Well, here one to share with you chaps....


    A penguin was driving his car through the desert in Arizona when it made a bang, and steam started to spurt from beneath the bonnet. He coasted to a stop outside a petrol station and asked the mechanic if he could have a look at the problem. The mechanic advised him that it would take him a few hours and perhaps the penguin might like to wonder into town and get some lunch, and come back later. The penguin waddled off into town. Feeling rather hot he decided that a nice bowl of vanilla icecream would do the trick. He found a restaurant and ordered the biggest bowl of vanilla he could, and waitress brought the bowl with a spoon. Eating with a spoon and having no fingers is impossible, so he just set to work with his vestigal wings and started shovelling the suff in and by the time he was finished, he was covered from head to toe in ice cream. Aware of the time, he duly paid for his repast, and waddled back down the road to the garage to inquire of his vehicle. "Well?", said the penguin to the mechanic, "What's the situation?". The mechanic turned to him and said "Well I reckon you must have blown a seal", to which the peguin said, "No, it's only ice cream!"
     
  6. Steve275

    Steve275 Formula Junior
    BANNED

    Jun 20, 2003
    364
    UK
    Full Name:
    Steve
    Love the Penguin Joke...............

    VESTIGAL, Of smaller reduced structure: of a functionlesss structure representing a useful organ of a lower form.

    Anyone else had to look that up ?

    You an English Teacher Stig ?

    Steve
     
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  8. sletti

    sletti F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 19, 2003
    5,084
    NW Kent
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    Stig W
    Steve,

    No just a crummy IT guy.....

    I learnt the word "vestigal" from my wife after a particularly insulting outburst about my, ahem, "performance"!

    Stig
     
  9. Dale

    Dale F1 Veteran

    Oct 7, 2003
    5,211
    uk
    Full Name:
    Dale Juan
    Any chance of an early thursday joke, like im having a bad day in the office so to speak,

    Dale.
     
  10. hedge

    hedge Formula 3

    Jun 11, 2003
    2,318
    England
    Full Name:
    Marc
    Did you hear about the alcoholic dyslexic?
     
  11. hedge

    hedge Formula 3

    Jun 11, 2003
    2,318
    England
    Full Name:
    Marc
    Very sad. Choked on his own vimto.
     
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  13. hedge

    hedge Formula 3

    Jun 11, 2003
    2,318
    England
    Full Name:
    Marc
    (He was in a bra at the time)
     
  14. Dale

    Dale F1 Veteran

    Oct 7, 2003
    5,211
    uk
    Full Name:
    Dale Juan
    Like it,im now the comedian at work stealing these jokes
    sorry guys
    Dale.
     
  15. wazza

    wazza Formula Junior

    Oct 9, 2003
    614

    Sorry Mate.

    I'm hopeless with remembering jokes

    Waaza
     
  16. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    Waz,
    i have a mate i work with called Warren , who is my source....
    T
     
  17. wazza

    wazza Formula Junior

    Oct 9, 2003
    614
    It must be someone at Deutsche Bank
     
  18. wazza

    wazza Formula Junior

    Oct 9, 2003
    614

    Come on Tony spill the beans?

    Wazza
     
  19. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    He was at EDF MAN , now works with me...
     
  20. wazza

    wazza Formula Junior

    Oct 9, 2003
    614
    Cor, that sounds like your going back some time.
    Not sure I'm going to get it.

    Wazza
     
  21. tonyh

    tonyh F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Dec 23, 2002
    14,372
    S W London
    Full Name:
    Tony H
    Wazza,
    i'm lost here !
     
  22. wazza

    wazza Formula Junior

    Oct 9, 2003
    614

    Too many damned Warren's.

    That's whats confusing the issue.

    Please everybody just stick to calling yourself John or something.

    Leave Warren to me.

    (sorry John)

    Wazza
     

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