What Happened to Quiet Restaurants and Bars?

Yes, Rene, thank you for the post. There are so many points of etiquette being lost today.

 

Try a Japanese restaurant (not a sushi bar). Much more civilised atmosphere. Certainly, they don't seem to do multiple TVs in the dining areas and the regular clientele are a bit more reserved.

All the best,
Andrew.

 

Sorry, no. I've never been outside of the airport in Houston.

I would recommend Edo, as it is absolutely fantastic in every way, but it's an 750-mile drive from you.

All the best,
Andrew.
Image Unavailable, Please Login

 

I will admit that I did not know the "facing the room" rule. ☺️ Thanks!!

I hate going to fancy restaurants and not seeing people dressed at least business casual. I was at Etoile in Yountville and there were folks in flip flops and shorts. C'mon man! It's a Michelin star restaurant...T

 

Steelton Keith and ggijr might correct me, but I think the origin if the rule is based on the idea that, first, a view of the restaurant and its customers is more interesting than a view of a brick or plaster wall; and second, that the man should be pleased to imagine other patrons admiring his wife/date/friend, thus allowing her to bask in the glow of recognition.

I concur with your point about dressing poorly in a top restaurant. One wonder about a Michelin-starred establishment not having a minimal dress code.

I find etiquette quite fascinating and it's fun to try and follow protocol at various gatherings. In the US you don't have a particular situation which occurs here: if you receive an invitation from the Queen to appear at a function she is holding, you cannot refuse the invitation. In effect, our monarch is sovereign and we are subjects, so technically a monarch does not invite, she 'commands' the subject to appear. The upside of this is that etiquette does not require you to write your thank-you note, since you were not 'invited'. At best, you can send the Lord Chamberlain a note indicating your gratitude that your sovereign bestowed her command on you.

And then dine out on the story for years to come. Not that I have received Her Majesty's Command -yet.

 

I learn so much from F-chat! Thanks, Rene. Hope you get that dinner date with the Queen someday!...T

 

Rene, I think the rule is mostly about giving your partner the better view.
I can't believe someone would wear shorts and flip flops to a starred restaurant. The Detroit Athletic Club still has a no denim policy in the clubhouse, though the tie requirement has been relaxed in recent years.

 

In my wife's family's country, la Belle France, the idea also is that the restaurant itself is more appealing when guests arrive or walk through the dining room they can look at the chic and attractive women lining the walls. The basis of this is that a good meal in a fine restaurant is as much about entertainment (if not more) than eating. This all sounds pretty stuffy to many I'm sure. Perhaps I should not mention the etiquette of the gentleman rising and standing whenever a lady leaves or joins the table.

 

Spot-on. A gentleman also rises when in company, for instance when a woman first enters a sitting-room. Usually only on the first entrance. Other women present will remain seated, as should men if a man enters the room (otherwise the gesture of rising for a woman would be negated).

My grandmother had a further rule, which she observed until her death in the mid-1980s. If she was entertaining at home, she would never leave a room, be it dining or sitting room, if a man was present. That man could be her son, my father, it made no difference. I am sure the well-bred ladies and gentlemen on this forum can guess why...

 

My buddy Mark who lived in Japan for 5 years and used to work at the Japan External Trade Organization (JETRO) here in Houston said the most authentic places are https://www.yelp.com/biz/teppay-japanese-restaurant-houston-2?osq=japanese+restaurant
and https://www.yelp.com/biz/nippon-japanese-restaurant-houston?osq=japanese+restaurant I accompanied him to each but this was almost 10 years ago.

 

Very good! Hadn't thought of that.

The reason is that if a woman leaves a room when men are present, they might, just might, wonder if she's going to the lavatory. Horror of horrors.

 

Well Keith...a few ideas for the french-speaking F-chatters here...about some of the french "etiquette":

Au restaurant - Tout pratique

Remember that when in company of a woman, the restaurant (or any similar place like a bar, etc...) is the only case when the man must enter it, and exit it, before the woman.
That if you have to climb stairs you must climb in second place, but go down first, etc...

We'll leave the way to wear a sword or a "rapière" in the street outside the discussion for today...

Rgds

 

As my wife observes, if an older woman approaches the table, any woman younger must also rise. I had not known that one before meeting her.

 

Only in restaurants? I was taught, perhaps incorrectly, that a gentleman should always go first, if it can be done without breaking into a full sprint, so as to hold the door for ladies, and then hand of the task to the next gentleman who comes through. I learn so much on F-chat!
T

 

My wife and were once at our favorite little Italian restaurant in Boston...family run..would close down for a month while family in Italy sort of place. Main noise would be hearing them yell at each other in the kitchen.
Tables so close you literally felt like you were having dinner with the people next to you (tables in parallel with maybe 8" between in some sections).
So, I guess per some common relationship advice out there this lady sitting next to us decided that would be the "right" place to tell her husband she wanted a divorce.
My wife and I nearly choked on our food!
We drank some wine, looked over at them, shrugged helplessly for him...and carried on with our delicious meal!
Can you say...awwwwkwaarrd!

 

Seems to be less peace and quiet everywhere, not just restaurants.
The cacophony in some places will drive me out in a flash.
A quiet, dignified ambiance is getting harder to find. I lament this too.
I remember being seated for an early dinner once in a place that had rather loud music playing. Our party was the ONLY one in the house. When I requested the music be turned down so we may converse I was refused with the explanation that was the way they want it. We left.

 

Local Mortons is still nice and quiet but yeah...most places too noisy for me to go to these days.

 

Ross. I had two similar situations one at lunch one at dinner. Clients suggested a local "gastro-pub" (please, god deliver me) they had Sirius XM "Hair Nation" channel on. I asked waiter could please just turn down a notch we couldn't carry on conversation he said that's the "Vibe" they wanted. Good bye.
The other place,kind of mid to upscale Boston place, waiter told me the wait staff liked it loud. I politey asked manager to turn down a notch (this was dinner) He said it would piss of wait staff. I asked "wait staff more important than your guests?" Got the Gallic shrug....out we went.

 

One of the reasons Morton's is still a favorite with me.
Funny enough, a group I used to hang out with were Friday night regulars at Morton's. We were the loud ones, the house riff raff for sure so usually ushered into a private dining room after a few rounds in order to preserve a serene dining room.

I enjoy most "supper clubs" in Wisconsin, they are almost always quiet rooms. Something about farmers not talking much I think. Food is usually simple but good and you usually get a "good pour" too.

 

Inmates running the asylum.