What happens when John Lamour writes an advice column | FerrariChat

What happens when John Lamour writes an advice column

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by ^@#&, Sep 7, 2005.

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  1. ^@#&

    ^@#& F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Feb 27, 2005
    12,091
    Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

    A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him it totally selfless. This shows how much he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.

    Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

    A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

    Q. My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

    A. This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two. It's a great time to clean the house, too! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

    Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

    A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with is, do it on your own time and ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

    Q. My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

    A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
     
  2. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,645
    Between 2 Implants
    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    thats not by me, the spelling and gramar are all correct. and there is no mention of the F word or being facialized or blumpkins.
     
  3. GoFerrari28

    GoFerrari28 Formula 3

    Jun 16, 2004
    2,313
    Ridgemont, CA
    Full Name:
    Jeff Spicoli
    You've forgotten reference to the husband's Constitutional right to have his wife get implants. I think it's the 28th Amendment, secretly passed during the Clinton Administration (go figure)
     
  4. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,645
    Between 2 Implants
    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    now your talkin !!!
     
  5. darth550

    darth550 Six Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    61,128
    In front of you
    Full Name:
    BCHC
    Thanks for explaining the "28" part of your screen name!
     
  6. ^@#&

    ^@#& F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Feb 27, 2005
    12,091
    it think it is the only number he knows :D
     
  7. Dcup

    Dcup F1 Veteran

    Jan 3, 2005
    8,645
    Between 2 Implants
    Full Name:
    Claude Balls
    im not gonna bail you out when angelo comes looking for you to kick your as$.
     
  8. robert biscan

    robert biscan F1 Veteran
    Silver Subscribed

    Jan 17, 2003
    5,082
    Nashville and Palm b
    Full Name:
    robert s biscan
    All this talk of cooking a nice meal takes time away from satisfying your man. Eat out then eat in.
     
  9. ^@#&

    ^@#& F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Feb 27, 2005
    12,091
    i didnt make fun of him because he is greek! that would be too easy! :D... i like your peoples food :D
     
  10. ^@#&

    ^@#& F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Feb 27, 2005
    12,091
    i show probably start hiding now.

    angelo, you can mess up what's left of me after dave hits me with the dino or his suv.
     

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