I'll start, see if you can top this.... My friend's wife was waiting for him in the car with the kids. After a while she comes to see how long he'll be. He's gonna still be a while, so before she goes back outside she asks: "If we wait in the car and just listen to the radio, with that use any gas?" He politely said "No." Gotta love it. How about you guys? Best! Wes
well it sort of dies.....the altenator has to work harder thus cause the motor to use more gas. Minimal.......im joking Antony
Years ago I had two newly-minted "Harley-Davidson bad boys" ask me why I rode a ricer, an how could anyone ride a Japanese bike when they could have a real bike like one of their H-D's. I explained to them that the Ducati 851 I was on actually was made in Italy, and due to the protectionist tariff structure in Italy at the time almost every component was made in Italy as well. I also explained to them that the electrical system, forks, and carburetor on the "American Iron" was in fact made in Japan, making their bikes much more of a ricer than mine.
From an old girlfriend while trying to balance her bank statement: "Why is THAT check not OUTSTANDING, it's over $500?"......I kid you not. She thought that anycheck she wrote over $500 was an outstanding thing in her life!.........Yes, she was a blonde!
I love it when you ask someone, "what time is it".....they say "Now?" "No, not now, what time is it in 10 minutes."....stupid.
This is not necessarily a stupid question, but certainly an annoying one. When people call and rather that ask "how are you doing?" they ask "what are you doing?"...I always answer: "I'm talking to you!"
Overheard at the beginning of the fourth quarter of a football game: "How many quarters are in this game?"
To clarify my earlier post, the motor was not running, so the question was whether using the radio, alone, would burn fuel. I thought of another one: Yamaha was just announcing their new snowmobile which was said to carry a 4 cylinder motor. This had never been done before and was quite outstanding. My friend in his usual, plodding way remarked: "Is that gonna FIT?" I couldn't hold my frustration and said: "No! It's NOT gonna fit! It's gonna hang out on both ends!" All the guys at the cabin just howled..... Wes
Doctor to patient: Does it hurt when you do this? Patient: Yes Doctor: Then don't do that. ....................................... Did you get a hair cut? No, I got them all cut. ...................................... Did you take a shower? No. Is one missing? ...................................... Call me a taxi. You're a taxi. ......................................
Roommates and I were watching that fine show, The Dog. Or whatever it is. Well, after they cought someone and arrested him roommate asked "Where do they take them after they arrest someone?" Now that doesn't sound all that bad, but since her dad was a cop for 26 years, her uncle was a cop, her mom is a 911 dispatcher, and SHE had just tested for one of the local departments, we all looked at her and just laughed.
Living in NH we are famous for our Annual bike week. 4 of us were riding up in the weirs in stop and go traffic. The group consisted of my Aprilia RSV Mille' (when it was still a street bike) 2 ducati 748's and Triumph Speed triple. We hit the strip and a guy says.. This is bike week not rice week.. Looking at all 4 of us. (in broad day light mind you) Umm ok.. first of all, 3 of these burn pasta and 1 is a limey bastard child. My buddy on one of the 748's yells over the thunder that we are on European bikes.. The redneck harley guy ask's Ducatis are made in Japan aren't they? Umm yeah.. Next.. The sad part was later on that day we saw the same guy get on ride away on an old Honda Sabre V-35 1100. Umm yeah.. Bike week huh..
"Are Buffalo wings made out of Buffalo?" Oh and when the Dentist asks you a question while he's working on your teeth. ANY question he asks while doing it is just DUMB. I hate it!
I once had a dog with kinda wavy fur on his ears. My girlfriend at the time asked if the dog had a perm.
2 of them, not sure which gets to me more: "Can I ask you a question?" and "Really?" aka ""you've got to be joking" aka "honestly?"
Dumbest is hard to say, but: once upon a time I participated in a semi-pro racing series that was a regular under-undercard event for a major international series. At one practice session, I stupidly left the pits at way over the limit; I was appropriately chastized and apologized. Two hours later, before the next practice session, the head of our series - still outraged, apparently, at my having embarassed him in front of the big boys - walked over to my car on the grid, leaned into the cockpit and shouted, angrily: "are you ok?!" A more experienced racer told me I should have said ... this still brings a smile to my face ... "no, actually, the buzz has completely worn off."
This one's so stupid I remember it from 4th grade: Our 4th grade class was collecting aluminum cans, etc. to recycle for money to finance a field trip. One kid asks "why don't we just buy a bunch of aluminum?"
