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What to do? I'm in a tough spot

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by PeterS, Apr 21, 2007.

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  1. PeterS

    PeterS Five Time F1 World Champ
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    #1 PeterS, Apr 21, 2007
    My best friend who is 72 had at least one TIA (mini stroke) last week. He's pretty freaked out about the entire thing and had a brain scan yesterday in which he gets the results back next week. He told me not to tell his daughter and son-in-law who I am also best friends with and I see them for Bay Area stay-overs at least twice a week.

    If I tell his daughter, I'm breaking a promise to her father.

    If I don't his daughter and he has a moderate to major stroke and tells her that I knew about this for some time, I'm toast forever with her.

    What to do?
     
  2. JLP

    JLP Formula Junior

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    #2 JLP, Apr 21, 2007
    Keep your mouth shut..................if your friend asked you to keep quiet then thats what you do.
    His daughter doesn't need to ever know that you knew anything.
    Don't betray his trust to earn his daughters.
     
  3. ZINGARA 250GTL

    ZINGARA 250GTL F1 World Champ
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    #3 ZINGARA 250GTL, Apr 21, 2007
    Well, he did take action. Why not wait for the results? If (I hope not) the results are not good, try a heart-to-heart. After all, you really don't know what the condition is at this point and neither does he. He may just be depressed (natural reaction) . I'd wait and see.



     
  4. darth550

    darth550 Six Time F1 World Champ
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    #4 darth550, Apr 21, 2007
    Convince him to be honest with his daughter....

    win-win....
     
  5. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #5 Fan512bbi, Apr 21, 2007
    Thats the best advice :) i kept a secret from my brother for his son 12 years ago, we have not spoken since.
     
  6. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #6 ryalex, Apr 21, 2007
    +1

    Let him know he's putting you in a bad position with him or his daughter by forcing you to make such a deal... keep on him to tell her himself - that's the best way.
     
  7. Remy Zero

    Remy Zero Two Time F1 World Champ

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    #7 Remy Zero, Apr 21, 2007
    +1
     
  8. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

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    #8 62 250 GTO, Apr 21, 2007
    Talk to your friend about the tough spot he put you in. Explain that telling the family is the moral and correct action.
     
  9. SrfCity

    SrfCity F1 World Champ

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    #9 SrfCity, Apr 21, 2007
    Honor your friend. You can always blame it on him if it blows up. Or, you could also ask your friend to agree that he never told you the news. That way he'll be more inclined to keep quiet and if he does spill the beans then he is as much fault for not coming clean with the daughter and at the same time breaking his promise to you. The simple thing and honest approach is that he should be encouraged to be the bearer of news(as stated earlier) as it puts you in an awkward spot. Good luck.
     
  10. Jdubbya

    Jdubbya The $10 Trillion Man
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    #10 Jdubbya, Apr 21, 2007
    First of all if it was a TIA it may not be as serious as he thinks. My Dad had several a few years back. Drove himself to the hospital after the worst one. Lots of tests and several medications later he has no lasting effect and doesn't expect any more problems. Try looking at the TIA as natures way of warning him before something more serious happens!

    As for the hard spot, I have to agree with Darth on this one! If it were friends or acquaintances he had asked you not to tell I'd say just keep quiet. Family is another story though!!
     
  11. ZINGARA 250GTL

    ZINGARA 250GTL F1 World Champ
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    #11 ZINGARA 250GTL, Apr 21, 2007
    You're right. That would be the next step.

     
  12. ZINGARA 250GTL

    ZINGARA 250GTL F1 World Champ
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    #12 ZINGARA 250GTL, Apr 21, 2007
    Good point! Possible rethinking of the term, friendship. Very good.

     

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