What would YOU do if your kid crashed your Ferrari?

My uncle, career military, had your attitude. Both of his kids were totally screwed up. Big time. My dad has a little of your attitude, and it took more than a few years for me to get on track. If you have any interest in trying to do the right thing by your kids, and do a little research, you'll find that most of the people in prison for violent acts, had abusive parents. Statistical fact. I get to see their results on a regular basis, given what I do for a living. Parents who take an active interest in their children, participate with them in the kid''s activities, provide them with guidance, understanding, and a good example, generally raise decent people. Those that take an autocratic attitude, my way or the highway, use physical means to ensure behavior, generally have problem kids. Again, my sympathies for your kids.

I do note that you haven't filled out your profile. People might have a better handle on whether your comments warrant a response, if you'd bother to fill it out.

Art

 

I have to take exception here, what in my post indicated to you that I am an abusive parent? You think that requiring teenagers to behave responsibly is abusive?
I am fighting an uphill battle with permissive parents who do not want to confront their children and allow them to: drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex....as LONG as they do it in their house where they can keep an eye on them. You think that is being a parent?

If my kid thinks I am mean because I don't them drink, then so be it I'm mean. And it is very much my way or the highway, and you know why? I have actually been down the highway, they haven't. There is no democracy in my house. I pay the bills, I set the rules.

 

When you ask why people might think you're abusive, please re-read your last paragraph. If you then don't get it, ask a friend to read it, and get their honest opinion of the comments contained. I think, if they are honest, they'll see the point.

It isn't about you, it's about them, you made that committment when you had them. It's usually easier to explain the why of why not, rather than "my way or the highway". When you deprive someone of something, you just raise their urge to try it out, rather than using common sense to keep them from indulging. I've seen it more than once. While your motives may be decent, your metholody sucks.

Art

 

What's wrong with drinking, smoking and having sex as a teen??

Wow... My father is just like you, still living in the 19. century...
That's why I stopped talking to him many years ago and I really hope your kid is gonna do the same to you!!!

 

Wrong again. It's about us...the family. This obsessively child-centric focus is why we have these narcissistic brats running around and taking control of their families and our society. There has to be leadership in any family and it comes from the top, i.e. the guy with the most experience and paying the bills.

 

Nuff said....

 

That may be true, but there are a bunch of ways to lead and get the job done. You've chosen your way, I think it's abusive. Your goals are admirable, but the means stink. You might even find that if you became a little more human, you'd get better results, but then again, might not be as good for your ego.

Art

 

We'll just have to agree to disagree I suppose.