... who doesn't like a good lawyer joke? | FerrariChat
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... who doesn't like a good lawyer joke?

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by JAM1, Sep 14, 2005.

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  1. JAM1

    JAM1 F1 Veteran
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    #1 JAM1, Sep 14, 2005
    A Lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense...........

    Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

    Lawyer says, "What for?"

    Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

    Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

    Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

    Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

    Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

    Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."

    Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the Deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving **** out of the Lawyer and says: "DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST SLOW DOWN?"
     
  2. EndymionMKII

    EndymionMKII Formula Junior

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    #2 EndymionMKII, Sep 14, 2005
    Nice, that actually reminded me of a computer animation that I saw back in 1991 or 1990 on one of those America's funniest video's or people shows.
     
  3. darth550

    darth550 Six Time F1 World Champ
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    #3 darth550, Sep 14, 2005
    Was that the Rodney King video?
     
  4. DMC

    DMC Formula 3

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    #4 DMC, Sep 15, 2005
    A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up
    behind her he says, "Hi, there, good looking'! How's it going'?"

    She, having already downed a few power drinks, turns around, looks him
    straight in the eye and says "Listen! I screw anybody, any time, anywhere,
    your place, my place, front door, back door, it doesn't matter to me. I've
    been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-ass love it!"

    Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! I'm a lawyer, too!
    What firm are you with?"
     
  5. EndymionMKII

    EndymionMKII Formula Junior

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    #5 EndymionMKII, Sep 15, 2005
    No it was not. I may have been 11 or 12 at the time but I remember seeing it.
     
  6. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #6 Fan512bbi, Sep 16, 2005
    What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?







    They grow taller.
     
  7. jsa330

    jsa330 F1 World Champ
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    #7 jsa330, Sep 16, 2005
    Good one!
     
  8. JasonF

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    #8 JasonF, Sep 16, 2005
    Man, I'm a (recovering) lawyer, and I love the jokes!
     
  9. PerryJ

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    #9 PerryJ, Sep 16, 2005
    A good lawyer knows the law,

    a great lawyer knows the judge. :D
     
  10. darth550

    darth550 Six Time F1 World Champ
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    #10 darth550, Sep 16, 2005
    Perfect!!!!
     
  11. Fan512bbi

    Fan512bbi Two Time F1 World Champ
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    #11 Fan512bbi, Sep 16, 2005
    A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
    "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
    "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
    "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
     
  12. Cajun

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    #12 Cajun, Sep 16, 2005
    That's great!!!!
     
  13. JAM1

    JAM1 F1 Veteran
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    #13 JAM1, Sep 17, 2005
    A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the wrecked car and offered the Doc a drink from his hip flask.

    The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.

    "Aren’t you going to get a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.

    "Sure, after the police leave." replied the lawyer.
     

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