Why is it???

1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

11 Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

 

Ha..

I so badly want to leave the office and goto the food store and have someone ram my ankle now.

 

Seems a little low, considering my recent trips to the shopping malls!

 

wow, a list of ones i'd mostly never heard before, cool!

 

Two, plus: In the '50s, people got the bright idea of making grilled cheese sandwitches in the toaster. Then they often electrocuted themselves trying to pry the mess out with a knife. See 16.

I remember seeing an editorial after 9-11 commenting on the notion of terrorists trying to destroy America by doing crazier things than Americans:
- Americans are people who drive on parkways and park on driveways
- Americans put "Interstate Highways" in Hawaii
- Americans put Braille instructions on drive-up ATMs
- Americans fill the garage with worthless junk, and park a $60K Beemer on the street.
- Americans put "In God We Trust" on their money, and then took both away from the schools.
- Americans spent billions to go to the Moon to collect rocks.
- Americans send their military to try to bring the most abstract form of government in history to peoples who have barely progressed beyond the "Clan" structure.
- Americans built the Panama canal as a short cut for ships, around the same time they invented airplanes.

There ain't *nobody* crazier than Americans.