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WISDOM..........

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by darth550, Jan 19, 2004.

  1. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Jul 14, 2003
    59,031
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    BCHC
    Wisdom

    1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

    2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

    3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said. "Implants?" She hit me.

    4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

    5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

    6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

    7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

    8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

    10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and ****head's.

    11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

    12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

    13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

    14. How come we choose from just three people to run for Prime Minister and 13 for Miss Canada?

    15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

    16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

    17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

    18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

    19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn..that was fun!"

    _____________________________

    DL
     
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  3. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
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    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    LMAO...! That's a good one...
     

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