This sucks! He was one of my favorite comedians. Godspeed Mitch.. I type 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language." "I would imagine if you understood Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy." "The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good a a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless." "I like rice. Rice is great if your hungry and want 2000 of something." "I went to the park and saw a kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed." "When you go a resturant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two , and if no one answers the'll say the name again, Dufrane, party of two. Bu then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. Bush party of three. Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes, No one seems to care, who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now ,with duct tape over their mouths and they're hungry.That'sa double whammy! We need help! Bush search aparty of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes."
hillarious. love the last two. he was funny, and seemed to be an evolution of steven wright in his own way in regards to one liners without tangents. and yup, heard about this yesterday. he was only 37.
Heard him for the first time about a year ago. Loved his style, he will be missed. Here's a picture of me when I was younger........... You idiot, EVERY picture of you is when you were younger. I bought a donut and they gave me a reciept....... Don't act like I didn't buy that donut, I have the documentation right here. O, it's at home.....in the file.....under "d". This shirt is dry clean only, .........which means its dirty. Very unique sense of comedy.
I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow sh*t. A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. List of Quotes: http://www.thedotdotdot.com/humor/hedberg.html
My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! ****. Seven. I need more dice. hehe, this guy was a genius. He will be missed...
"I want my phone number to be all 2's. That way, when people ask me what my phone number is, I'll say, 'Keep dialing 2. When I pick up, you have dialed enough.'" And, "They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried it, there's more to it than that."