Are being Married with Children and Happiness mutually exclusive ? | Page 3 | FerrariChat

Are being Married with Children and Happiness mutually exclusive ?

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by WILLIAM H, Dec 31, 2003.

  1. JaguarXJ6

    JaguarXJ6 F1 Veteran

    Feb 12, 2003
    Black Hawk, CO
    Full Name:
    I'm unsure. If I posted pictures recently, they were probably of her. She is the blonde in the middle in the picture below. I've talked about her lately now that the relationship is really progressing. I agree, love is priceless. Being lovers means different things to different people with plenty of examples in this thread.

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  3. WFO_Racer

    WFO_Racer Karting

    Nov 5, 2003
    Newport Beach Ca
    If you are a track racer and she doesn't get goose pimples in the hot pit lane she's not for you. I passed on many great girls because the passion for motorsport wasn't there.

    My wife loves motorsport . My two sons are named after F1 drivers. She doesn't drag me shopping or to chick movies. She is loving being a mom. She is also ten years younger than me so she has the energy to chase them( she is also a tri-athlete).I get them when they are clean, fed and happy so I can play and teach them things. Fortunately my parents live close so they get plenty of grandparent time so we can go to dinner,dates ,trips. You have to have alone time, together time, and family time. I am retired so I have more free time than Joe Wage Slave, that helps alot.

    Remember one thing William, if your closing in on 40 you are going to be the old fart dad during your children's activities. Unless you buy a ready made family.I 'm 38 now my boys are 5 & 2 and I feel like the old fart with some of the dad's in my older boys school. Lucky for me I still kinda have a baby face. I also lost weight and I'm finally back down to 9% body fat, most of the dad's I have met are fat with beer guts. For me I had a blast when I was single. I got to road-race motorcycles with the AMA. I've been shot and stabbed during fights. But nothing was scarier and cooler than seeing the boys when they were born.

    Whatever you choose ,good luck.

    WFO : dad to two budding kart racers
  4. JaguarXJ6

    JaguarXJ6 F1 Veteran

    Feb 12, 2003
    Black Hawk, CO
    Full Name:
    Great post, btw. Funny you mention this. My g/f is appreciating it more. She has been one of my better passengers in the times I need to push or perform an emergency manuever. She loves going to the races, though more superbike racing. Not nascar. And she doesn't know much about kart or F1.

    She loves football, more than a lot of guys I know. The first time we were together, we woke up late, watched a game before we finally got out of bed.

    The second time we were together, we didn't do more than get out of bed and curl up on the couch. She started flipping through channels and found a football game and we watched briefly. She flipped through stations again and I spotted kart racing. I said oh, look. She found another game and we watched that briefly. She changed it back to kart racing. I looked at her and asked, no football? She responded, I think we should watch this. I thought you loved racing?


  5. adamr

    adamr Formula Junior

    Aug 16, 2002
    JaguarXJ6 - I had a short marriage; ended in divorce in '89 and have not been married since. In following relationships, I usually find myself being either a mind-reader or a phsycologist.

    For me to actually settle down with the wife and eventual kids.... well she'd have to be someone pretty incredible. As one other Fchatter stated, the chances are equvalent to winning the lottery.
  6. Ontogenetik

    Ontogenetik Karting

    Nov 2, 2003
    apropos american + brazil + superior quality

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  8. rob lay

    rob lay Administrator
    Staff Member Admin Miami 2018 Owner Social Subscribed

    Dec 1, 2000
    Southlake, TX
    Full Name:
    Rob Lay
    I'm very happily married and have no doubt it will last a lifetime. Only reason I see it works so well is that we don't treat it like a marriage.
  9. Texas Forever

    Texas Forever Six Time F1 World Champ
    Rossa Subscribed

    Apr 28, 2003
    Hey guys (and a few gals), I'm finally getting with the program. This ignore thingie is really cool. Take that you ugly Troll!
  10. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ

    Aug 3, 2002
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    William, i'm gonna download and listen to American Woman by Lenny Kravitz in your honor... :D

    At 24, i still think i'm too young... My folks were younger than me when they got married (and i don't recommend that!)... i don't think i can ever picture myself getting married... i'm not exactly an international playboy but a wife and kids and a family doesn't fit my lifestyle... It's just not something i'm into...

    To answer the question, no; being married with children and happiness are not mutually exclusive... However, figuring out how to combine the two and make them last is something that would make Confucious, himself scratch his head and retort, "Uh... let me get back to you on that..."

    Sometimes doing the right thing for the wrong reasons reaps unDESired results.
  11. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    I'm with the guys who say that being married made me work harder and strive to be better than anything else in my life - although I've been a slacker somewhat lately at being spontaneous and exciting (law school saps a lot of that).

    I think getting married younger was better for me, because a) it kept me out of trouble and b) it prevented a lot of bad bachelor habits from getting ingrained. My wife was against the Ferrari thing at first (she's too shy to be seen in something flashy like that... or was), but over a few years she's gotten used to the idea and has started buying me Ferrari stuff.

    I know exactly what Adam is saying though-- we were babysitting the other day and when our friends came in and their kids ran over saying "Daaaady!!" it just gets you right there (yeah, I'm a sap).
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    Nov 10, 2003
    i met my wife while partying in brazil(recife)on my last day
    we kept in contact for 5 years ,then i got sick ,yes sir sick of fat heffers here in my city.the rest is history.
    grande gringo
  14. Gilles27

    Gilles27 F1 World Champ

    Mar 16, 2002
    Full Name:
    This is great stuff! I think the mistake a lot of people make is thinking they HAVE to get married, and they HAVE to have children. And all by a certain point in their life. (I went through the whoring phase, and it was funny how small a large city could become!) I'm 37 and my wife is 30. We've only been married a year, but have been together for almost 6 years. Most importantly, we feel the same way about things. So many people settle when finding a partner, which leads to a lot of unhappiness and frustration. Our big issue right now is with starting a family (besides our dogs). Neither of us has that strong maternal/paternal urge that so many of our friends had. In a way, we're both a little selfish in that we weigh the inconveniences kids bring into your lives along with the positives. We love our lives the way they are, but at the same time we don't want to miss the boat, so to speak. While we know we would love our children immensely, you have to admit that if kids were sold in stores the company would go bankrupt.
  15. tjacoby

    tjacoby F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    Vancouver Canada
    Full Name:
    I agree. And I do think that much of the Hollywood bulls**t contributes to some of this. "Love" does not conquer all, not even close. "lust" even less. I see lots of big issues blow up marriages that could of been seen up front. eg; one likes drugs, one doesn't - oops.

    A Manager I had many years ago had a pre-agreed kidless marriage. She was a VP at an Intl. Co. He was a jr. mgr. at a ntl. company. One day she decided she had to have kids. So she tells him. "Honey - I've decided to have a kid, and you get first choice on who their father is"! case closed. They're still together 20 yrs. later.
  16. shmark

    shmark F1 Rookie
    Silver Subscribed

    Oct 31, 2003
    Full Name:
    Great thread!

    And exponentially more rewarding. Hanging out, watching footbal, drinking a beer, all seemed like life was perfect...until I spent the morning watching TV and singing the Speed Racer theme with my son, while my daughter took pictures. Or watching him win his first Pinewood Derby, or teaching her to ride a bicycle, or....

    What are you afraid of? :) That's the whole point, grow together, change together, love each other! I mean this in the gentlest possible're the one who's being naive. Think about it. Love and marriage is something you can't rationalize or have a real opinion about, until you've actually taken that risk. Being a lawyer, you understand taking the greater risk for the greater reward. Giving your heart to someone means you are risking the greatest possible hurt...but also getting the greatest possible reward.

    Might I suggest that you're dating the wrong women? Give up the honeys and find a woman with quality and substance.

    Dale said it very well, it IS worth it, and you're not a whole person until you're a parent. It's never too late. My wife is also my best friend, and she already had two children when we started dating. Yes, I thought long and hard about dating a woman with children...that is NOT a trivial thing. But I love her children as my own and would not trade this life for anything.

    I once thought as you, that I was happy in my loner existence, that I liked myself and was comfortable that way. Boy was I naive. Yes I was happy, but I now realize that was only half a life. Find the right person. You'll never regret it.

    Mark & Peggy
  17. shmark

    shmark F1 Rookie
    Silver Subscribed

    Oct 31, 2003
    Full Name:
    Why not? It just gets BETTER! It's lots more fun to have a partner in bed than a toy. You get to "figure each other out" better. You reach a whole new level...and that I will not elaborate further upon. :)

    Without sounding conceited, I am a fairly intelligent guy. I used to tell my friends that my dream woman was someone who was smarter than me. They thought I was nuts. Well I was right, and I found her. She is waay smarter than I am in many ways, I am in others. We compliment each other, Yin/Yang. It's better than sex dude. :)

  18. tbakowsky

    tbakowsky F1 World Champ
    Consultant Professional Ferrari Technician

    Sep 18, 2002
    The Cold North
    Full Name:
    Mark..You sound like a guy who has his head screwed on right. very rare now-a-days.
  19. Ontogenetik

    Ontogenetik Karting

    Nov 2, 2003
    most girls are 'smarter' than most boys.

    >I found her.

    boy -> man

  20. Ontogenetik

    Ontogenetik Karting

    Nov 2, 2003
    What does Hollywood have to do with love.
    What does anything "America" produces have to do with love.

    >"Love" does not conquer all, not even close.

    Love (as opposed to "love") gives life.
    Hollywood + practically anything "America" produces takes life.

    Care to bet?

  21. Ontogenetik

    Ontogenetik Karting

    Nov 2, 2003
    thus girls are smarter than boys.
    they can "sell" love, the most expensive of "products".

    cowards forego love ... for power

  22. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

    Interesting that there are now 3 of us here that have disclosed that we have Brasilian wives.

    WilliamH......take note !!! Maybe it's time to toss those Argentine babes in favor of your neighbours.

    Anyways......I'm 5 years down this road with my wife.....3 of them as married......and things are really great. Maybe the key was not to be looking for it when it happened.......I really believe that is the case because if you go around looking for it you send out different signals than if you are not. I was a male slut for the preceeding 10 years and that's what happened.

    Whatever.....that's as deep as I can where's the futebol game on TV.

    On the kids thing......more power to you if you can handle it.......I recognized early on in my life that I was too selfish and irresponsible for kids.......and my wife is the same. They are too expensive.....and too life altering for us, period.....and like I said....I am too selfish.

    Personal honesty is better than bringing a child into the world than will not receive what it it not ? I always feel that when I see comments like how happy people are that "that they had kids and love them and couldn't see it any other way and so on" that some of these people have practiced the art of self deception to it's highest form. I personally know many friends who would love to go back to being kidless and openly comment accordingly............when the wife is not around that is. Being able to say "that" does not mean that you do not love the kids you created, etc, it's just an honest self appraisal.

    I am not commenting on any of you here who have said that by the way as I do not know any of you well enough personally and never will.........I'm just noting my observations for the group to follow, so please do not be offended.

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