Aussie joke thread | Page 113 | FerrariChat

Aussie joke thread

Discussion in 'Australia' started by stephens, Oct 17, 2005.

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  1. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    Not that sort of helicopter.
     
  2. greg246

    greg246 Two Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Jun 2, 2004
    26,622
    Still probably be transported by helicopter, not much room in the back of an ambulance for a spinal team
     
  3. greg246

    greg246 Two Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Jun 2, 2004
    26,622
    Ok, just a wanker then :D
     
  4. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    Oh come on....like you wouldn't do it if you had a spare billion or two!!
     
  5. greg246

    greg246 Two Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Jun 2, 2004
    26,622
    Oh, you misunderstood, I have no problem being a wanker :p
     
  6. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    #2806 Aircon, Mar 24, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  7. 360C

    360C F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner


    Westpac sues aged-care magnate Stephen George Snowden for millions over nursing-home money transfers | News.com.au
     
  8. 360C

    360C F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    I am stuffed if I know how you can transfer uncleared funds?

    That missing money is long gone IMO.
     
  9. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Nov 1, 2003
    59,757
    Australia
    Full Name:
    John
    My right hand still has all digits intact :)
     
  10. 360C

    360C F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Pity all those old dears who trusted him with their life savings may not.

    I've been banking with Westpac for 15 years and have never seen this anomaly that enabled you to transfer uncleared funds to a secondary account. I guess I don't come at things from an exploitative perspective :rolleyes:
     
  11. wax

    wax Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 20, 2003
    52,410
    SFPD
    Full Name:
    Dirty Harry
    . . . Daily for almost 6 months? Wow. Hang 'em.


    via rubber ducky
     
  12. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Nov 1, 2003
    59,757
    Australia
    Full Name:
    John
    I tried a few months back and it didn't work for me, even had a little trouble after the funds were cleared but it turned out to be the recipient .... he was a bit dumb :p
     
  13. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    I know the bloke you're talking about. He puts the F back into wit.
     
  14. GTRMagic

    GTRMagic Formula 3

    May 18, 2004
    1,902
    Sydney, Australia
    Full Name:
    Hey Mr Dee Jay....
    No mention of 'el bastardo' the black Ferrari 550..
     
  15. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    #2815 Aircon, Apr 4, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  16. Horse

    Horse Three Time F1 World Champ
    Owner Silver Subscribed

    Dec 1, 2005
    35,416
    Brisvegas
    Full Name:
    Jon
    C Pap?
     
  17. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    No, thank goodness! :)
     
  18. carl888

    carl888 F1 Veteran
    Owner

    Oct 31, 2003
    6,933
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Carl
    THE PROUD REDNECK FATHER

    A Redneck father went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.

    Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says;

    "Congratulations, your wife has had quins, 5 big baby boys."

    The Redneck boastfully replies;

    "I'm not surprised, I have a penis the size of a chimney."

    The nurse replies:-

    "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are black"
     
  19. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    #2819 Aircon, Apr 10, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2017
  20. moretti

    moretti Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa Owner

    Nov 1, 2003
    59,757
    Australia
    Full Name:
    John
    I don't get it, said the bishop to the actress
     
  21. Aircon

    Aircon Ten Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Jun 23, 2003
    100,524
    Melbourne, Australia
    Full Name:
    Peter
    Gawd!
     
  22. I16

    I16 Formula 3

    Sep 15, 2008
    2,188
    It was April and the Aboriginals in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

    Since he was an elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets.

    When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
    Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that

    the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared.

    But being a practical leader, after several days he had an idea.
    He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked,

    'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?'

    The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold..'
    So the elder went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

    A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'
    The meteorologist again replied, 'Yes, it's going to be a very cold winter.'
    The elder again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
    Two weeks later the elder called the Bureau again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'

    he asked. 'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters

    ever.' 'How can you be so sure?' the elder asked.
    The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the Aboriginals in the north are collecting firewood like

    crazy, and that's always a sure sign.'
     

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