yes...i knew what you meant. you should just laugh along with the rest of us. read it...the more he posts, the more ridiculous he becomes. no wonder we miss him here. one less person to ridicule and laugh at IMHO.
classic...don't mind the bad language http://aussieexotics.com/forum/ferrari/testarossa-lap-times-with-ss-t1159.0.html;msg13251#msg13251 hmmm...hard to argue with facts (although he makes it an art form)
Eight Words with two Meanings 1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female.... Any part under a car's hood. Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.... Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n. Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.! Male..... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion. Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding. 7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Engineering Conversions ________________________________________ ~ Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi ~ 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton ~ 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope ~ Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond ~ Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram ~ Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong ~ 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling ~ Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon ~ 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz ~ Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower ~ Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment) ~ 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake ~ 1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone ~ 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles ~ 365.25 days: 1 unicycle ~ 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds ~ 10 cards: 1 decacards ~ 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton ~ 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen ~ 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche ~ 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin ~ 10 rations: 1 decoration ~ 100 rations: 1 C-ration ~ 2 monograms: 1 diagram ~ 8 nickels: 2 paradigms ~ 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League ~ 100 Senators: Not 1 decision
Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce" she yelled. Bruce came running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "Strewth" Bruce said and tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Frank. They came back and they both tried to pull her up. "No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B." Frank said. "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce. "What's that"? "I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum." replied Frank. "Spot on" Bruce said. "While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits." "Play with her tits"? Frank said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate?" "No" Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive". _
http://ferrarichat.com/forum/consultants.php two jokes here...... ferrarifixer - Technical, Tracking (very lol) PAP 348 Mechanics (as long as you're looking for advice on diesels)
are you ok today? over your depression? you sounded so down yesterday when you were wro....wro....wro....not right
I spose it hade to happen one day i just was'nt prepared, you had the 355 brigade going you should have told them oh i just remembered mines a import too.
