Saw these in a cafe at Phillip Island last week. Image Unavailable, Please Login Image Unavailable, Please Login
DIARY OF A POMMIE IN QUEENSLAND
 August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in
Townsville, North Queensland.
 Now this is a town that knows how to live!
 Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. 
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. 
It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it here.

 September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. 
No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned
 car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a 
sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!

 September 30 - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots
 of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another scorcher today, but 
I love it here. It's Paradise!

 October 10 - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
 How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy
 though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than we
 expected.

 October 15 - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 
60% of my body. Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing to do.
 Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

 October 20 - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I 
left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work,
 Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the 
upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat ****. I've learned my 
lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

 October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant ****ing blow
dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and 
the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order 
parts from ****ing Brisbane ......The wife & the kids are complaining.

 October 30 - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still haven't 
arrived for the ****ing air conditioner. House is an oven so we've all been 
sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we
 can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

 November 4 - Finally got the ****ing air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 
and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes 
it feel about 35. Stupid repairman. ****ing thief.

 November 8 - If one more smart bastard says 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
 going to ****ing throttle him. ****ing heat! By the time I get to work, the 
car radiator is boiling over, my ****ing clothes are soaking ****ing wet and
I smell like baked cat. ****ing place is the end of the Earth.

 November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on 
the black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my ****ing arse was on 
fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off
 my ****ing arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked 
cat.
 ****. ****. ****.

 November 10 -- The Weather report might as well be a ****ing recording.. Hot
 and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and ****ing sunny. It never ****ing changes! 
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 ****ing months and the weatherman 
says it might really warm up next week. ****!

 November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ****ing place? Water 
restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and 
blow into the ****ing pool. The only things that thrive in this ****ing
 hell-hole are the ****ing flies. You don't dare open your mouth for fear of
 swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

 November 20 - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 ****in' degrees today. Now the 
air conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, 
'Hot enough for you today?' I wanted to shove the ****ing car up his ****ing 
arse. Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of 
jail for assaulting the stupid prick. 
****ing Townsville!! What kind of sick, demented ****ing idiot would want to 
live here!

 December 1 - WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! You are ****ing kidding 
me!
Blackjag and Pap will be too dumb to work this out, so it'll keep them busy for hours. [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXf-m_vBykc&[/ame]
