Do you need a consultant? Check these guys out!

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by ryalex, Feb 21, 2004.

  1. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander

    Man, these guys have real industry experience.

    (Hope it's not a repost!)
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  3. F360@20

    F360@20 Karting

    Nov 24, 2003
    San Diego
    Is that a joke or is that really how the present themselfs?
    funny thow.
  4. Robin

    Robin F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    Arlington, VA
    Obviously a joke, but probably only to those in the biz. This perfectly satirizes the consultant world... You could replace "huh?" with the name of the Big 5 consulting company I'm subcontracting for right now and it would fit perfectly. Pretty funny site, thanks for the link.

    Here's a fake radio advertisement for a consulting company that's especially relevant to me ;)

  5. Doody

    Doody F1 Veteran

    Nov 16, 2001
    MA USA
    Full Name:
    Mr. Doody

    this is very funny.

    i used to be in the management and IT consulting biz. as monty python would say "i got better!".

    gotta forward this one around :)

  6. 96impalaSS

    96impalaSS F1 Rookie

    Dec 8, 2003
    Full Name:
    "Our creative team will come up with ideas you never even thought of. How could you? You don't have the talent we do. Don't take it personally. That's our job. That's what we do. We do stuff."

    Thats some funny stuff.LMAO
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  8. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    My exposure to consulting was temping at a big 3 the summer before law school, as an admin (read: lackey) for a managing partner (or "lead client service partner"). Just being in the culture for a while, reading their marketing literature, some projects, their reviews/reports, and having to doublecheck billing statements gave me a taste of what goes on... and this website cracked me up.

    There's one of these for mock sites for an airline I saw a while back.

    As a side note, one of the things I realized about the "fast-paced high tech business world" is how little actually happens in a given day. It was a shock to my recent-biz-program-graduate system.
  9. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    for those who missed this gem the first time around. Almost as good as the Dilbert books on management.
  10. UroTrash

    UroTrash Three Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Jan 20, 2004
    Full Name:
    Clifford Gunboat
    D*mn, I just hired these guys (or similar) and got clipped for $4235 for alot of stuff I already knew.
  11. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    In front of you
    Full Name:
    I got it in my inbox today as well....funny stuff. :D

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  13. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander

    There's a new expose book on consulting out that I want to get (sort of a liar's poker meets Dilbert take).


    House of Lies: How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Then Tell You the Time
    In this humorous memoir, former management consultant Kihn reveals the dark underside of the profession. He reveals just what consultants do, translates their baffling jargon, and describes how they are "brainwashed" in the ways of big-money advice giving. He also saves readers time by summarizing some classic management consulting books and demonstrating that they really all say the same thing. Kihn is a Columbia Business School graduate and Emmy-nominated comedy writer. Annotation ©2004 Book News, Inc., Portland, OR
    Publishers Weekly
    Complete with an appendix of terms like "brain dump," "pulse check" and "swag" (an acronym for "smart wild-assed guess"), this somewhat disjointed, highly intelligent and deeply funny debut memoir skewers a segment of the economy that nearly every white-collar worker has learned to fear and loathe: consultancies. Kihn, who has been nominated for an Emmy as a comedy writer, went to Columbia Business School and has spent the last few years working as a consultant; he writes the "Consultant Debunking Unit" column for Fast Company. Kihn argues that many consultants know little or nothing about the firms they're hired to help; furthermore, he contends, they often offer companies information that companies already have. For him, the consulting industry is a shell game, imparting an air of authority and expertise rather than actual authority and expertise. To achieve the illusion, Kihn says, consultants use mechanisms ranging from legions of Harvard MBAs in Oxford shirts to reams of incomprehensible blather presented as winning corporate wisdom. His reconstructed dialogue from within his (unnamed) firm and from his time serving clients is alone worth the price of admission, as is his relentless taunting (by name) of McKinsey, Deloitte & Touche and others. Agent, Simon Lipskar at Writer's House. (Mar. 21) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
  14. GCalo

    GCalo F1 Veteran

    Sep 15, 2004
    Northern California
    Full Name:
    Greg Calo
    Their first major client was Enron!
  15. tjacoby

    tjacoby F1 Rookie

    Nov 1, 2003
    Vancouver Canada
    Full Name:
    You had an rookie in "echo-consulting", repeat back to the client what they tell you. not my phrase, but describes 70-80% of the guys out there.

    Your guys must of been rookies because any good consultant should of been in there for 10x that to "scope the engagement", to charge you for the quote.

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