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Dont know what to do

Discussion in '360/430' started by Thurminatr, Sep 29, 2007.

  1. Thurminatr

    Thurminatr Karting

    May 25, 2007
    153
    Dallas,TX
    Full Name:
    Charles
    Man Im torn I have had my 360 spider for 4 months and cant help but get the feelings of guilt out of me that I really dont need to have a car like this even though I have longed for it. My girlfriend rides my case about what excess it is and how its a hassle to take out because I wont just park it anywhere. She constantly reminds of how the extra attention it brings is bothersome. Then I can take my buddy out on a Saturday night and we just have a blast with it and can stand in the garage for an hour after we get back just looking at it and talking about it. I dont know if she is jealous of the car and the extra attention it brings me? She says I care too much about an object and should look at the bigger more important things in life. So naturally I take those comments to heart and it bothers me. This girl is a long term girl in my mind and I dont want to be selfish especially over a car, aside from taking a financial hit with the taxes I just dont want to have this feeling if I sell of disdain for her. I'm fairly young at 26 and maybe there will be a time later in life for something like this but then again maybe not. Have any of you guys had to deal with this before?
     
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  3. Stradale Joe

    Stradale Joe Karting

    Jul 26, 2006
    146
    downtown
    Full Name:
    Joe Panache


    You are who you are and if she can not respect the things that make you happy (as long as you can afford it-it's not preventing you from paying your mortgage,etc) find yourself another girlfriend. This nagging about the car will be followed by other things to rag on you about. If she truly cares for you and the things that make you happy she would respect your feeling and not put such a guilt trip on you for it. Been there...done that...get rid of this girl and get yourself a real woman! (BTW- I have a son your age and I would tell him exactly the same thing)
     
  4. Thurminatr

    Thurminatr Karting

    May 25, 2007
    153
    Dallas,TX
    Full Name:
    Charles
    Yeah I could understand if my finacial situation was not in order but it is, the car is paid for and it was something I had set a goal for and I was fortunate enough to meet my goal. I feel like I have never really put the car in front of her but she makes out to be that I value the car more than her at times and it just makes driving in it with her miserable and pointless at times...Maybe I just make a point to never take her out in it anymore and she will leave me alone about it. But i hear you about the future nagging and not accepting me for who Iam stuff...Just gets complicated when there are feelings involved.
     
  5. RayJohns

    RayJohns F1 Veteran
    Silver Subscribed Owner

    May 21, 2006
    6,443
    West Coast
    Full Name:
    Ray Johns
    take it from personal experience, lose that gal as fast as possible. She'll make your life hell. My guess is that she's extremely insecure and worries that your Ferrari will attract women. Insecure/jealous women are the absolute worst. I dated one for four years and it was the worst. I thought if I loved her enough, she would come around, but whatever her problem was, I couldn't fix it. When I got a Ferrari, she had nothing but snide, negative comments about it.

    A secure woman would have no problem with what car you drive. If it makes you happy, it would make her happy too. My current girl friend loves my 360 and is always joking with me about "Honey, can I take the car to the store". When I drive the car, I joke with her that "I have to drive the Ferrari now and be cool... maybe pickup some chicks". She just laughs. Since she's secure in herself and our relationship, it doesn't bother her. Besides, no body tells me what to do, what car to buy, etc. And if anyone were to start giving me a guilt trip over something, Ferrari or something else I enjoy in life, I would show them the door in short order...

    The problem isn't the car, it's the girl. Life's too short man.

    Ray
     
  6. dsevo

    dsevo Formula Junior

    May 7, 2007
    692
    Flower Mound, TX
    Full Name:
    Dustin
    Simple, sell the chick.
     
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  8. Thurminatr

    Thurminatr Karting

    May 25, 2007
    153
    Dallas,TX
    Full Name:
    Charles
    Always good to hear from people who have had more life experience than me. I hear you about the insecure issues which I cant grasp why she would feel that way but I probably should not even bother trying to understand that. I consider myself to have a good head on my shoulders but man women make decisions tough I have learned. Just seems so silly over a car which in theroy should only bring smiles and pleasurable experiences.
     
  9. RayJohns

    RayJohns F1 Veteran
    Silver Subscribed Owner

    May 21, 2006
    6,443
    West Coast
    Full Name:
    Ray Johns
    Most likely, it will only get worse. In my experience, it's much better to find a woman that fits your life and what makes you happy, than to try to change your life/self to fit some nutty gal that has come along.

    When I first start dating a girl (or even chatting with her), I always do two things. First, I mention my ex-girlfriends in conversation to see if she has a negative reaction about it. A secure woman will realize your ex's are part of your life/history and will not have any problem discussing ex girlfriend #1, #2, #3, etc. Second, I suggest going to a strip club. Most insecure/uptight women will balk at this and/or completely wig out at even the suggestion of it. However, most secure/laid back women will have little if any issues about and and will usually be quite happy to go and have a good time with you.

    In my 20+ years of dating, I've found those two acid tests are a sure fire way to weed out the crazy/insecure/jealous nuts real fast. Not always, but I'd say 95% of the time.

    Ray
     
  10. JoeT

    JoeT Karting

    Jun 16, 2007
    192
    Naples, FL
    Full Name:
    Joe T
    I couldn't agree more with the above; dump her now before your guilt trip that she has laid upon you makes you do something really irrational like marry her. Then she'll take 50% of everything you own including the Ferrari. This is just an omen of things to come. Cut the cord now. However; as my father always said "advice is what the wise don't give and fools don't take".
    JT
     
  11. Nielsq

    Nielsq Karting

    Dec 23, 2006
    245
    NY Metro Area
    Full Name:
    Nielsq
    Ditto,ditto,ditto,ditto,ditto,etc.
    He's right on. Been there. Insecure girlfriends or wives no matter how beautiful will make your life a living hell.
     
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  13. absent

    absent F1 Veteran
    Lifetime Rossa

    Nov 2, 2003
    8,536
    illinois
    Full Name:
    mark k.
    She is "only" a girlfriend now and already she is giving you grief regarding your passion and interest.
    Just imagine how bad it could be when she has your balls in a cuff.....(marriage)
     
  14. Thurminatr

    Thurminatr Karting

    May 25, 2007
    153
    Dallas,TX
    Full Name:
    Charles
    LOL man I know that part it a wake up call....in many respects I believe she is naive and immature but at 22 who is not...Just really sucks to see this side come out over a car, I just remember how proud and excited I was to see that car roll of the truck and into my driveway my dad still brags about it and then to sit there and hear her make some of the comments just sucks.
     
  15. campbell53

    campbell53 Karting

    Oct 5, 2006
    96
    She has suffers from severe insecurity. Take my word for it...if it is not this car it WILL BE something else. Sell the car and she will say your stamp collecting takes too much time. Or your sail boat is too much of a problem. Whatever...you will never win with this girl. Find someone who enjoys you for who you are.
     
  16. E60 M5

    E60 M5 Moderator
    Moderator Owner

    Jan 2, 2006
    6,780
    Wash DC area
    Full Name:
    Robert
    Dude, there are 5 billion people in the world, find another girlfriend ASAP!!!!!!! My wife and I have been married 14 years and we wholeheartedlly support each other and our passions!! No guilt, no shame, just love!
    Sorry, but move on and there will be someone else, don't worry! And the cool thing, the right one will love you for all the things you are and not a few, how great will that be!!

    Robert
     
  17. RonnieF430Spider

    RonnieF430Spider Formula Junior

    Jan 25, 2006
    993
    Westlake Village, CA
    Full Name:
    Ronnie C
    If completely understand what you are saying. If you are looking for true happiness in your life and a long term relationship, I would advise you to get rid of it....the girlfriend. Chicks come and go...but a Ferrari....come on dude. If she can't be happy because you are, she should be 88 and out the gate!
     
  18. roccoriley

    roccoriley Karting

    Jun 24, 2007
    230
    So Cal
    If she is on your case about your car she will be on your case about other things. Take this behavior as a preview of what will come in the future. People don't change, this is the way she is. Is this how you want to live?
     
  19. SEAL2CC

    SEAL2CC Formula Junior

    Jan 19, 2005
    347
    What color is your car, how many miles, manual or F1?

    Seriously...if you "solve" these problems now with her, they WILL manifest themselves somewhere later to your dismay and possible greater cost. I dont know what it is, my wifes parents always went apoplectic when I got a new/used car FAR before my F car days..I mean Fiat, used BMWs etc. And I was doing well. They are under the grass now and my wife has gradually come around to the fact that it is OK to enjoy life. But you are facing a controling move and you must determine if this is a characteristic you will be dealing with if you get new golf clubs, buy a neat watch, whatever...even doing something nice for her...its just a material thing. Does she feel the same about little blue boxes from Tiffany's? Personally I think there's nothing cooler or sexier than a woman who shares my passions, enjoys these things but realizes they "aren't life." but doesnt throw a guilt trip on me. I try to reciprocate for her interests..

    Good luck..

    Chris
     
  20. fc2

    fc2 F1 Veteran
    Owner

    Nov 2, 2006
    5,136
    Silicon Valley Ca.
    Full Name:
    Frank C.
    As harsh as it may sound... the guys on this forum make excellent points. Yeah, she's young at 22 and likely has a lot of growing up to do, but if you're right and she's jealous of your car, and you sell it, it will be something else. She might outgrow this insecurity, or not. I'm in my late 40's and know a few women who've never changed... and remain single b/c no one will put up with their s$#t, no matter how pretty they are.

    If you're able to afford a 360 Spider at 26, chances are you've got a bright future ahead of you... take your time and find the right women. As one wise F-Chat member posted below, make this mistake and she'll take half of everything you own AND your Ferrari.

    Move on.

    Good luck,
    Frank
     
  21. BCS

    BCS Karting

    Aug 28, 2007
    174
    NJ/NY
    Full Name:
    Bill
    your 26!!! go out and have a good time. Forget the long term GF at this stage in your life
     
  22. ryalex

    ryalex Two Time F1 World Champ
    Consultant Owner

    Aug 6, 2003
    22,677
    Las Vegas, NV
    Full Name:
    Ryan Alexander
    +1
     
  23. ylshih

    ylshih Global Moderator
    Global Moderator Advising Moderator Honorary Owner

    Mar 21, 2004
    16,260
    Northern CA
    Full Name:
    Yin
    Good advice here; lose the girlfriend.

    She'll probably lay some stupid guilt trip on you about "how could a car mean more than her", but it has nothing to do with the car, it has to do with how she's reacting to your interests. If she can't support what's important to you, then she's not a good partner. (That goes both ways though).
     
  24. 410SA

    410SA F1 Veteran

    Nov 2, 2003
    8,391
    West Coast
    Full Name:
    A
    The world is full of women like this, and consequently the world is also full of unhappy, depressed men, wondering where it all went wrong.
    Confidence, Tolerance and Acceptance are three qualities you absolutely must have in a mate and this gal is sorely lacking all of them - Run Forrest run! As fast as you can! As far away as you can go!
     
  25. RBK

    RBK F1 Rookie

    Jul 27, 2006
    3,052
    Calif and Nev
    Full Name:
    Bob
    Any guy who leaves home has dealt with it before. All the advice you see here is good, with the possible exception of using strip clubs as a litmus test for a relationship (unless the author likes watching men get naked in front of his loved one).

    I offer the following. You sound level headed. You are being emotionally blackmailed. As said throughout the posts, it is only the beginning. A 22 year old "woman" will not be there at 32. If whatever she gives you is worth it, then pay a price you can live with later. If the price is too high, feel the pain and say goodbye. Best
     
  26. racerdj

    racerdj F1 Veteran
    Silver Subscribed Owner

    Jan 19, 2003
    6,846
    Indianapolis
    Full Name:
    DJS
    Very well said and also true in my situation!
     
  27. vm3

    vm3 Formula Junior

    Apr 12, 2007
    728
    California
    A woman jealous of a car is trouble now, and bigger trouble in the future. A good woman encourages her man to do what makes him happy as long as it is harmless. I've had both types so my opinion comes from experience.
     
  28. TokyoF430

    TokyoF430 Karting

    Feb 9, 2007
    76
    Dude, I have three words - ditch the *****.

    Seriouly, if she is jealous of a damn car, how is she gonna cope when you have to go away on a business trip to
    some exotic location with a bunch of 28 / 29 year old guys or something, she will freak!

    My wife is 26 and I am a wee bit older, she wants me to buy a Lamborghini! I will be the typical porky guy losing my hair with a beer belly and in a flashy car with a girl that could be mistaken for my daughter : ) She is pretty secure!
     

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