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Hollywood Squares...................................

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by darth550, Apr 17, 2004.

  1. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Jul 14, 2003
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    If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. Clever, not scripted. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

    Q. Do female frogs croak?
    A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you
    be?
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

    Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
    woman?
    A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

    Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that
    he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
    A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

    Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
    A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

    Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
    A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

    Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands
    while talking?
    A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give
    you a gesture you'll never forget.

    Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
    A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

    Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
    any during the first year?
    A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

    Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

    Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
    One is politics, what is the other?
    A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
    A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

    Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
    A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose
    do?
    A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark!

    Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
    A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of he dark.
    .
    Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the
    habit of kissing a lot of people?
    A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

    Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
    A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

    Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
    what was he trying to do?
    A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

    Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
    elephant?
    A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
    A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

    Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
    actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
    A. Charley Weaver: His feet

    Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
    A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.

    __________________________

    DL
     
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  3. AJS328

    AJS328 F1 Veteran
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    Apr 23, 2003
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    Augustine Staino
    Classic!
     
  4. cohiba_man

    cohiba_man Formula Junior

    Jan 23, 2003
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    John
    It may not be scripted but all the actors are allowed to see the questions (and answers probably) before hand so they can come up with their witty quips and be able to answer as many as they want correctly.
     
  5. Kds

    Kds F1 World Champ

    That brings back memories !!!

    I used to watch the old version of the show a lot actually.......Paul Lynde "was" pretty funny at times......
     
  6. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Aug 3, 2002
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    Carbon McCoy
    ROTFLMAO...!!! i used to watch that show when i was younger; great stuff, Dave, thanks for posting... :)
     
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  8. branko

    branko F1 Rookie
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    Mar 17, 2003
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    Branko Medenica
    I agree, Paul Lynde was hilarious!
     

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