Because these wussy Boston sportswriters has finally gotten my goat. Female dog, female dog, female dog about Houston is all they do. Well, have they checked the weather in Beno town lately, huh, huh? How many of you little pinky finger lifting, latte drinking, democratic voting, wussies got to go a run today in your Ferrari, huh? Come on Doody, seen any neat web browsers lately? How about you Ryan, gotta admit that this is a good time of year to crack the ole law books, eh? Okay, I'll admit it. Houston is butt-ass ugly. When I worked at one of the hotiy-totiy CPA firms during the oil boom (and, no it wasn't Arther Andersen), we used to fly recruits in from the airport via a helicopter because we didn't want them to see all the titty bars and the car lots adverstising that the owner had brain damage (no lie) on the way into town. Houston has two major attributes -- restaurants and money. We ain't got no class like them sissy folks up in Dallas who drive around in their white Lexus with gold trim yakking on the cell phone. Nope, all we got is Bubba driving a 72 Chevy Pickemup truck with beer cans rolling around the bed (one of the local sports is to watch Bubba run the truck through a car wash and see all the beer cans start flying everywhere), a gun rack in the winder, and a bumper sticker saying, "Don't Mess With Texas." (One further refinement on this theme is to have two stickers on the back window - One sez Jim-Bob. The other sez Tammy.) But I get to say all this cause I live here! Didn't their Yankee mamas teach these sportswriting fools any manners? You ain't supposed to female dog your host, no matter how much they migt deserve it, geeze. Ah, man, makes me wish that I'd saved some of those old bumper stickers. You know, the ones that said, "Freeze in the dark, you bastards!" Dr "I'm proud to be a redneck" Tax ps There's one more benefit to living here. You get to visit all your old friends who live in really cool places and never have to worry about payback. pps Kinky Friedman, he of "they don't make Jews like Jesus anymore" fame, had another great song about Texas called, "I'm proud to be an ******* from El Paso."