John Kerry was going to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign. In preparation for his visit, Kerry's campaign manager made a visit to the Cardinal. Kerry's aid said to the Cardinal, "Maybe we can help each other. We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's position on abortion and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say John Kerry is a saint." The Cardinal thought it over for a moment and agreed to do it. Kerry shows up for his visit. As the Mass progresses, the Cardinal begins his homily. "John Kerry is petty, a self absorbed hypocrite and a nit-wit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known. But compared to Ted Kennedy, John Kerry is a saint."