Movie Quotes

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

-it's from my favorite movie.

 

Classic. Great responses from people when you use it. Either become hysterical if they get it, or give you an odd blank stare.

 

Mother: Excuse me, do you sell videos?
Randal: Yeah, what're you looking for?
Kid: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Randal: Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?
Mother: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.
Kid: Happy Scrappy!
Mother: She loves it.
Randal: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-****ing Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My **** Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave ****", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink ***** Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?

 

Saw "This is Spinal Tap" again the other day. Some quotes:

Nigel Tufnel: "You can't really dust for vomit."

David St. Hubbins: "It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever."

Duke Fame: 'Listen, we'd love to stand around and chat, but we've got to sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo.''

 

"A sphincter says what?"

 

"You can't polish a turd" Christine

 

Have you watched the DVD with the director's comments turned on? They do it in character--good stuff.

 

What a wanker! He's got this much talent. Remember when he opened for us? They were still booing him when we took the stage (paraphrased)

 

Me too! That's definitely on my list!

"Pull over"
"No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticing!"

"Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this...and totally redeem yourself!"

"We got no food, no jobs... our PETS' HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!"

 

"...After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners, in ethical, moral, and in human terms, the fact of the matter is, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they broke the law."

Family Guy did a hilarious segment involving that quote.

Other than that, pretty much any Big Lebowski quote gets me laughing. Oh yeah, and this one: Royal O'Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001) Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship

 

+1! I've literally seen the D&Der 100's of times. And in high school, I could recite the movie beginning to end!
The bathroom scene still makes me laugh so hard that I cry.

 

Hahaha! Same here.

One week my junior year of high school I was writting a paper on Dumb and Dumber. I ended up watching the movie everyday for an entire week, and I think I watched it twice on some days.

It's funny when you know all the lines you can recite the movie in a matter of minutes.

"I...I gotta pee."
"Just let it go man."
"Oooh...that's warm..."

 

From the original Vacation movie:
Clark Griswold:
"I think you're all ****ed in the head. We're ten hours from the ****ing fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much ****ing fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're *******s! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy ****!"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vJ8X6qTA5cE

 

"That's why you date women who think Chekhov's Three Sisters is a Star Trek novel." (Free Enterprise)

"Oh, sure: save the whales, but not the galaxy." (Last Starfighter)

"Daddy would'a gotten us Uzis" (Night of the Comet)

 

John Winger: "We're soldiers; but we're American soldiers. We've been kickin' ass for 200 years. We're 10 and 1."

Sergeant Hulka: "Lighten up, Francis."

 

"Kick the twee!"

 

"It's so damn hot! Milk was a bad choice..." - Ron Rurgundy



"I know what you're thinking. And the answer is yes, I do have a nickname for my penis. It's called The Octagon. But I've also nicknamed my testes. The left one is James Westfall, and the right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you might just get to meet the whole gang." - Brian Fantana

 

the 40 year old virgin: " i'll pray for your c**k "

 

Big Lebowski is chuck full of them:

From IMDB.

Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

The Dude: Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

Jesus Quintana: Nobody ****s with the Jesus!

Maude Lebowski: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: 'Scuse me?
Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean coitus?

Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

[while dunking the Dude's head in the toilet]
Blond Treehorn Thug: Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the ****ing money, ****head?
The Dude: It's uh... uh... it's down there somewhere, let me take another look.

Jackie Treehorn: People forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
The Dude: On you maybe.

The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?
The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles.

 

one of the best movies -------


What do you mean I'm funny?
It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.

what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?

It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

Funny how? What's funny about it?

Funny how?

Just... ya know... you're funny.

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little ****ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Just... you know, how you tell the story,

No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the **** am I funny, what the **** is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!

Get the **** out of here, Tommy!

 

2 of the simplest, yet most famous quotes:
"yo, adrian!"
"hello, clarice"

 

ahh, probley my fav too.

 

A few of my favorites

The Godfather
Don Corleone: "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. "

Clemenza: "It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."

Clemenza: "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

Casino
Nicky Santoro: "A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all f****** night."

Taxi Driver
Travis: "You talkin' to me?"

Wall Street
Gordon Gekko: "This is the kid, calls me 59 days in a row, wants to be a player. There ought to be a picture of you in the dictionary under persistence kid."

Gordon Gekko: "I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing."

Dazed and Confused
Wooderson: "You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N."

 

LOL, how about the most memorable line in the movie...

"You know how I know you're gay?"

[Insert any combination of phrases after]

Point Break was on TV this weekend. Keanu is definitely not a great actor. But this movie is pretty good.

"Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true".

One of the cheesiest sounding, worst acted lines ever.

"I'm an F.B.I. Agent".

 

From Cop:

Well, there's some good news and there's some bad news. The good news is you're right - I'm a cop and I've gotta take you in. The bad news is I've been suspended and I don't give a f**k.


This is Spinal Tap:

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.