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My Stupid (Ex) Salesman

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Jerrari, Mar 25, 2005.

  1. Jerrari

    Jerrari F1 Veteran

    Jul 24, 2001
    5,458
    Michigan
    Full Name:
    Jerry Wiersma
    I just remembered this "incident" the other day that happened a few years ago and had to share it. I had an independent sales rep named John who was from the U.P. of Michigan (aka, a Yooper). Anyway, we drove to McCormick place in Chicago for a cleaning equipment show, I was driving and he was shotgun. I am driving my full size Chevy van and we pull up to the hanging PVC pipe at the entrance to a parking garage and we hit it, so I let out a quiet expletive and started to back up (for those of you who don't know, if your vehicle hits the pipe, you're gonna hit a concrete beam if you drive in). This dip **** screams, "wait!" as he proceeds to open his door, reach up and lift the pipe up so that I can drive under it. He says, "come on, come on I'll hold it up, you can make it!" I was frickin flabbergasted. I said, "get your dumb ass in here, this isn't a test you can cheat on!" He was clueless as to why I wouldn't proceed.
     
  2. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

    Jan 9, 2004
    7,732
    Nova Scotia Canada
    Full Name:
    Neil
    I had a salesman who drove into a bridge.... twice.... the same bridge.
    *slaps forehead*

    I had another salesman who got high with a firefighter in his house {selling door to door}. When the firefighter's wife got home {cop} she arrested them both.
    *slaps forehead*

    I had a salesman who pulled another salesman through a window of a mini van and started driving away while the guy was hanging out. Another salesman in the back started to choke the driver {to make him stop?} and they crashed.
    *punches forehead*

    I had a salesman who got lost on a straight road on a sunny Saturday afternoon after being chased by a cat. It took me 2 hours to track him to a house miles down this road and he wouldn't come out untill I checked under the step and around the house for this "major badass cat". I did not check anything and I left him in the house and drove 250km back home.
    *Punches dash*..............

    .............. I took a phone call just as I was walking into my house, it seems the scared salesman wouldn't leave the house and the owner called the Royal Canadian Mounted Police which in turn called me to come back and "collect my things". I drove all the way back in the middle of the night in the pouring rain, picked up this loser and drove him 30 minutes closer to home, pulled over about 15kms away from any exit or road, pulled the retard out, threw him in the ditch, slamed my cell phone against a tree, stomped on it, got in and drove to the next exit. Called the police and told them one of thier officers made me drive this guy home and on the way he "freaked out", he stole my phone and nearly steered us off the road, so I "put him out of the car" and if they wanted him, they should "collect their things".
    *Punches salesman*

    And yes, there are more, many many more.
     
  3. AnotherDunneDeal

    AnotherDunneDeal F1 Veteran

    Jun 2, 2003
    5,308
    N.Richland Hills, Tx
    Full Name:
    James Dunne
    I had a salesman who took out the first "sold" 750iL we received for a test drive before the new owner got there to pick it up. He took three other salespeople with him on the drive. He accelerated to quickly and could not make the turn and sailed the car into a ravine at the end of the street. Car ended up lodged between three trees and required a crane to come a lift it out. Consequently, the car was no longer "sold". The salesman was however, "owned".
     
  4. stephens

    stephens F1 Rookie
    Lifetime Rossa

    Feb 13, 2004
    4,483
    Australia
    Full Name:
    Stephen S
    LMAO.
    Made me feel better about my sales team!
     
  5. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

    Jan 9, 2004
    7,732
    Nova Scotia Canada
    Full Name:
    Neil
    I don't know of a sales "team" on this planet.
     
  6. CMY

    CMY F1 Veteran

    Oct 15, 2004
    9,915
    Redondo Beach, CA
    Full Name:
    Chris
    There's no "I" in team.. At least not since "I" got kicked off the team for drinking.

    C.
     
  7. Z0RR0

    Z0RR0 F1 Rookie

    Apr 11, 2004
    3,445
    Montreal, Canada
    Full Name:
    Julien
    OMFG 250 62 GTO, that is downright hilarious!!!
     
  8. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

    Jan 9, 2004
    7,732
    Nova Scotia Canada
    Full Name:
    Neil
    It wasn't very funny at the time.
     
  9. Z0RR0

    Z0RR0 F1 Rookie

    Apr 11, 2004
    3,445
    Montreal, Canada
    Full Name:
    Julien
    One of those life experiences you look back to and wonder how it could have happened!!! Your buddies find it funny much earlier than you! :D
     
  10. Fastviper

    Fastviper F1 Rookie

    Nov 20, 2003
    4,410
    Texas
    Full Name:
    Dash
    I once had a salesperson I cannot remember the conversation except this part. she told me that if you go 60 mph, in an hour you will have driven 75 miles, because she had done it before. It took me a good 40 minutes to explain why that cannot happen.

    she was the last employee I hired from the model agency across the hall.
     
  11. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

    Jan 9, 2004
    7,732
    Nova Scotia Canada
    Full Name:
    Neil
    Either simple math evades her or she can't tell time.
     
  12. spidermanUK

    spidermanUK Formula 3

    Feb 26, 2005
    1,602
    UK
    Full Name:
    Clive
    Yeah but there is a "me" if you look hard enough!
     
  13. Kboy007

    Kboy007 Formula Junior

    Oct 18, 2004
    344
    Allen
    Full Name:
    Mike Verinder
    You guys really need to do some better screening.
    geeze.
     
  14. 62 250 GTO

    62 250 GTO F1 Veteran

    Jan 9, 2004
    7,732
    Nova Scotia Canada
    Full Name:
    Neil
    We would read through hundreds of resumes a year and would only hire a handful. The weirdest one I ever hired was a no show at the first appointment, for some reason I gave him another chance. He showed up wearing old, very old sweat pants, an old, very old sweat shirt and a bag. I thought he was homeless when he walked in. I got up to greet him {throw him out} when he said his name, I almost dropped to my knees.

    To make a very long, painful story short, he became the best salesman I had ever hired and in the 3rd week he was more than doubling my top 2 salesman combined.

    The goal for everyone was one sale per night and for the better guys, it was 1 sale per night plus 1 or 2 days were they would get 2 per night.
    This "guy" could bring in 6 deals a night and he never wanted to end the day without at least 3.

    Don't judge a book by it's cover, it just might squish you like a bug.
     
  15. MarkPDX

    MarkPDX F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Apr 21, 2003
    10,963
    Do you still have her number?
     

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