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New "Fad" diet

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by darth550, Jan 13, 2004.

  1. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    59,031
    In front of you
    Full Name:
    BCHC
    Subject: Calories

    It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.

    REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
    With her consent.................................12 Calories
    Without her consent............................2187 Calories

    OPENING HER BRA:
    With both hands.................................8 Calories
    With one hand...................................12 Calories
    With your teeth.................................485 Calories

    PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
    With an erection..................................6 Calories
    Without an erection............................3315 Calories

    POSITIONS:
    Missionary..........................................12 Calories
    69 lying down...................................78 Calories
    69 standing up..................................812 Calories
    Wheelbarrow....................................216 Calories
    Doggy Style......................................326 Calories
    Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories

    ORGASMS:
    Real.............................................112 Calories
    Fake............................................1315 Calories

    POST ORGASM:
    Lying in bed hugging...........................18 Calories
    Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories


    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately.......816 Calories


    GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
    20-29 years....................................36 Calories
    30-39 years....................................80 Calories
    40-49 years....................................124 Calories
    50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
    60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
    70 and over....................................Results are still pending

    DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
    Calmly............................................................32
    Calories
    In a hurry.....................................................98 Calories
    With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
    With your wife knocking at the door............13,521 Calories

    Results may vary. The study also indicates that fantasizing about a
    different partner during sex increases the pleasure and intensity of
    orgasm, but calorie utilization is not indicated.

    __________________________________

    DL
     
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  3. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
    California
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    LMAO...!!!
     
  4. John

    John Rookie

    Nov 13, 2003
    21
    Torrance, CA
    Full Name:
    John
    hahahahhahaha



    Nice!





    -John
     
  5. wax

    wax Four Time F1 World Champ
    Advising Moderator

    Jul 20, 2003
    45,900
    SFPD
    Full Name:
    Dirty Harry
    You forgot:
    Zzzzzzzz after "...oh, baby, unh, unh, unh" = 4 Calories
     

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