Post a fact that, through experience, you are [sometimes painfully] aware of

A bicycle is not a motorcycle. The left lever on the handle bar is not the clutch. Abruptly pulling it is not needed for shifting, but forces the front wheel to lock, with respective consequences.

Don't ask how I looked like after I found out.

 

If you've been BCC'd (blind copied) on a sensitive email, then realize that doing a Reply All not only is sent to everyone on the original distribution list but also reveals the fact that the original sender was being sneaky by BCC'ing you in the first place.

 

If you ever decide to lie to your boss about being sick, don't do it when your boss can hear orders being placed at the starbucks counter behind you... (luckily, I was the boss in the situation)

Also, "Hey man, i can't come in today, I did WAAAYYYY too much coke last night" is not a valid sick leave excuse.......

 

If you try to shoot out the sidewall of a tire from 5 feet away with a .22 LR pistol, the bullet will bounce off the sidewall and hit you in the nuts, and that will hurt a lot.


If you are playing with a 500,000 volt stun gun that is on your right front seat while driving at night, you may pick it up backwards and fire it into your palm, and that will cause your arm to be sore for about 3 days.

 

Ewwwww.... been there.

 

When installing a new car battery don't forget your wrench has a long handle.

 

O.M.G
Pleasepleaseplease let me bet on this one[but which one?]
Just brillance on both/all levels
Here sit by me,on the back row,we can raise our hands at the same time
Thank you for your honesty
Diogenes where you at?
All the best,really
RE

 

Never has there been a more true statement made.

 

A borrowed radar gun in a moving vehicle is good for LOTS of yucks.

 

Just because the engine has been off for a while, doesn't mean the exhaust header has cooled enough to dig around the engine compartment.

 

So true. We have a lot of older rich jewish guys from New York that like to come to Telluride and play dress up. Ralph Lauren and Barry Sonnenfeld come to mind.

 

I am destine to work the rest of my life in the factory that I work in right now. It's hard work sometimes, but the job has given me a lot of opportunities that I would have never had in my life, so it is well worth it for me! I get plenty of days off in the year to spend with my son and my wife, we have a great home and two great cars, who could ask for more!

 

going down a slide on your skateboard and trying to jump over a cement wall is fun!!!
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never throw a pushbroom at a tree. especially a branch directly above you.

 

"Never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart. "

 

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

The easiest way to find something you've lost is to buy a replacement.

Good girls are really just bad girls that don’t get caught.

-Tad

 

Words to live by

 

Diesel can catch fire from direct flame.



( Back Story: I was working in a salvage yard and had been asked to deliver a rear clip < rear end > of a car. I proceeded to drag the torch out to the farthest point from the main office possible. Understand that normally, I remove the fuel lines and tank from Gs vehicles, but since I had been told the Diesel would not catch fire from driect flame, I simply cut around the tank and through the fuel lines. I cut the roof, then the passenger side across to the driver side floor. As I am finishing the cut, I notice more and more smoke from the floor area. Well, when I looked under the car, I see that the fuel coming from the fuel lines was burning and speading fast... I grab my 1 gal bucket and head for the creek.... when I get back... it was too late... The neigboring construction workers saw the smoke and came over with their front end loader.... at which point they scooped up a car sized load of dirt and put the fire out ( by covering the entire car ) About this time, the local ( volunteer ) fire department shows up and wants to practice using their fire truck equipment. They hose down the dirt and make a mud pit of it all... then the local Police Officer shows up... checking everything out... the FD then thinks it would be funny to hose down the Police car with their fire foam ( Mr.Bubble ) which WAS funny up until the foam started coming out the dash vents of the police car. )

Well.. It was funny at the time ( 20 years ago )

S

 

When in a group of people, he who knows the least talks the loudest.

When posting on a forum, he who posts the most, has no friends.

 

When something you ate starts producing toxic gases that sets off EPA alarms, and you are clever enough to go to the back of the store, casually make sure no victims are nearby, then let 'er blow.......check to make sure that a 5-8 year old child is not hiding in the merchandise rack behind your exhaust manifold!

 

What movie is that quote from? Bucket List?

 

Yep!

 

Gravity hurts... a lot!

 

If you and your friend try to jump on the same swing together you can get a broken nose.