Speeding Humor | FerrariChat

Speeding Humor

Discussion in 'Ferrari Discussion (not model specific)' started by Ken, Dec 16, 2003.

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  1. Ken

    Ken F1 World Champ

    Oct 19, 2001
    Arlington Heights IL
    Full Name:
    I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph over the limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun the other side laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

    To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

    "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

    "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

    The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

    "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

    "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot *******?"

    To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....."

    Traffic Ticket: $95.00

    Court Costs: $45.00

    The Look on that Cop's Face: PRICELESS!!!
  2. madturk

    madturk Formula 3

    Nov 2, 2003
    Williston, ND
    Full Name:
    Seyhan Kilincci
    Joined: Oct 2001
    Location: Arlington Heights IL
    I was "flying" down the road yesterday (i.e., 10 mph over the limit),

    LOL.... good thing you could stop.
  3. Agent Smith

    Agent Smith Formula 3

    Apr 20, 2002
  4. airbarton

    airbarton Formula 3

    Nov 11, 2002
    Kennesaw, Ga.
    Full Name:
    Chuck Barton
    Here's one I heard someone on this site tell who had gotten a speeding ticket for 80mph in a 55 zone. When the matter was being discussed by him and the judge after he had pled not guilty, the judge asked "what is your defense?" he replied " your honor, I know it could not have been me the officer got on radar because I passed that cop at well over 100mph!" Interesting defense!

    Here's one that happened to me though just after I got my 348. I got pulled over on I-75 one afternoon by a state trooper that had a rookie ride along. The officer sent the rookie to do the dirty work while he stood back by the patrol car and observed. The young officer walks up and says "man I have always wondered what one of these cars was like, how fast have you had it?" I said "I don't think I should say since I am already in enough trouble" He said "come on, off the record how fast" I said ok and told him how fast. After he pulled his jaw off the ground he said "jesus christ you must be out of your mind going that fast, I hope I never have to chase you!" He then handed me my citation for 98 in a 55. Its a good thing they did not radar me a couple of miles down the road, I was just slowing down when they got me!

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