An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scot were sitting in a bar. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "Y'know" said the Scot, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's where the owner will buy your 5th drink after you buy 4." "Well" said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2." "Ahhh that's nothing" said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house." The Englishman and the Scot immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true. "Well" said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?" "No, not me personally," said the Irishman. "But it did happen to me sister."
A 747 was starting its descent and the pilot had forgotten to turn off the P.A. system. ''As soon as I clock off'' he said, ''I'm going to have a nice cold beer and then shag the arse off that blonde stewardess.'' The horrified stewardess made a dash toward the cockpit, but tripped over in the aisle. A little old lady sitting there whispered, ''There's no need to hurry love, he said he was going to have a beer first.''
