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What's with all the miracles???

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by Nibblesworth, Mar 3, 2004.

  1. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
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    Nov 29, 2002
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    BillyBoy
    Now I'm not a religious guy, so don't take me the wrong way. But I'm sure the the Big J.C. would be somewhat perturbed by all the "Miracle" products made for women. I mean, he died and whatnot to save mankind from sin, and I assume that events like those should be reserved for the term "miracle".

    Instead, we have:

    1. The MiracleBra.
    2. The MiracleWrap Sarong thing.
    3. The MiracleBikini.
    4. The MiraclePanties.

    Etc Etc Etc, ad nauseum and on and on.

    The miracle bra makes a lady's t!ts look bigger, or less saggy and worn out, or creates fake cleavage, or whatever. The miracle wrap, and the miracle bikini, for that matter, simply hides big fat a$$es and flabby thighs while on the beach. The miracle panties hold a big sloppy a$$ in place and keeps it, and a saggy b!tch gut, from drooping out of place and looking like ****.

    So, Jesus Christ endures days of tortue and dies on the cross to wash away the sins of all manking. Somehow, clothes designed to hide the fat and lazy a$$es, small or pancake boobs, and cellulite ridden stumps of women now fall into the same catergory.

    Here's an idea, you fat lazy hogs: WORK OUT. GO THE THE GYM.
     
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  3. Slim

    Slim Formula 3

    Oct 11, 2001
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    richard
    Thank God for the miracle bra. I don't get to touch anyway so may as well enjoy the view whether natural or not, ha!

    As for working out or eating a salad - when will women figure this out? We don't care how nice your nails are or your hair. Well, we might at some point. But once you get passed 15lbs. over perfect weight, you'd do better spending that money on a gym membership or personal trainer because nails ain't going to do you a bit of good. But no, that would require some actual effort.

    -Slim
     
  4. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
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    Jul 14, 2003
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    I'm appalled! How sexist can one post be, SLIIIIIIM? Get your **** straight, buddy TEN pounds...TEN!

    DL
     
  5. Nibblesworth

    Nibblesworth Formula 3
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    Nov 29, 2002
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    BillyBoy
    Agreed, but I have to side with Darth on this one - your threshold for fat is pretty impressive at 15lbs. I say 10 is OK, but 5 is my preference.
     
  6. Slim

    Slim Formula 3

    Oct 11, 2001
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    richard
    I was just being kind on the 15 lb. allowance, ha! My wife weighs 113 lbs. and hasn't gained a bit since we got married 10 years ago. She gained a few pounds both times when pregnant but in a few months looked as good as new.

    If you yell into the other room like I just did and ask "honey, how much do you weigh?" and she refuses to answer, then I guess you're in trouble. If she answers matter of factly like my wife did, you're in good shape, ha!
     
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  8. thecarreaper

    thecarreaper F1 World Champ
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    Sep 30, 2003
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    I NEED A JOB
    LMAO!! i needed that, thanks
     
  9. wax

    wax Four Time F1 World Champ
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    Jul 20, 2003
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    Dirty Harry
    Easy on the Miracle Whip, Baby.
     

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