What's your sign?????????????

What sign are you?

ARIES
You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions.
Basically you don't give a **** about anyone. Most people hate you
but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.

TAURUS
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get
on well with most people because you're bisexual. You
hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.

GEMINI
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character.
Simply your a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fvcking
weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themselves to win a bet.

CANCER
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making
money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's
limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

LEO
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to
try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden
snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the
welfare.

VIRGO
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them.
But you're prone to bull$hitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo
men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges.
This makes you an *******. For your entire life people will make a
complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles.
However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals
and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.

SAGITTARIUS
You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts.
You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive
on incest.

CAPRICORN
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quite type. A
mean self-centred $hite and a closet homosexual. Your best friend
is probably an altar boy.

AQUARIUS
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in
the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the
least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy
wearing fishnet tights.

PISCES
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation.
You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world.
Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will
continually fail. You're a prick.
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DL