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Why men are happier

Discussion in 'Other Off Topic Forum' started by airbarton, Jul 8, 2004.

  1. airbarton

    airbarton Formula 3

    Nov 11, 2002
    1,462
    Kennesaw, Ga.
    Full Name:
    Chuck Barton
    My wife sent me this. Thought you guys would appreciate it. Fell free to add to this list if you can think up more reasons.

    Why Men Are Just Happier People -

    What do you expect from such simple creatures?

    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can be president.
    You can never be pregnant.
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is
    just too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
    Wrinkles add character.
    Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood-all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    No wonder men are happier!
     
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  3. Brianjonesphoto

    Brianjonesphoto Formula Junior

    Dec 2, 2003
    266
    Seattle Wa
    Full Name:
    Brian Jones
    damn straight!!
     
  4. Brianjonesphoto

    Brianjonesphoto Formula Junior

    Dec 2, 2003
    266
    Seattle Wa
    Full Name:
    Brian Jones
    Men don't have to try on 5 different outfits to decide what to wear.
     
  5. Brianjonesphoto

    Brianjonesphoto Formula Junior

    Dec 2, 2003
    266
    Seattle Wa
    Full Name:
    Brian Jones
    i enourage women to both of these! :)
     
  6. coolestkidever

    coolestkidever F1 Veteran

    Feb 28, 2004
    5,486
    CT
    Full Name:
    Patrick
    My mom and sisters always make fun of me for this. Here goes todays phone conversation:

    "Yo"
    "Yo"
    Whats up"
    "Nothing"
    What do you wanna do tonite"
    " I dunno"
    "Ok"
    "come over"
    "Ok"

    hang up
     
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  8. jonesn

    jonesn Formula Junior

    Nov 2, 2003
    840
    STL-MO
    Full Name:
    Evan "Trouble" Jones
    Wow, all of that was dead on. Can't say that I can blame a bull dike :) lol
     
  9. amenasce

    amenasce Two Time F1 World Champ
    Silver Subscribed

    Oct 17, 2001
    28,217
    Paris / Chicago
    Full Name:
    Andrew Menasce
    yeah but Women can go into women lockers room ! Think about that ! :D
     
  10. Suzyq

    Suzyq Karting

    Mar 4, 2004
    68
    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

    I discourage most men from both of these ;)
     
  11. 134282

    134282 Four Time F1 World Champ
    BANNED

    Aug 3, 2002
    40,647
    California
    Full Name:
    Carbon McCoy
    Um... What do you mean...? You guys don't do that...? C'mon... Seriously...?


    LMAO...!
     
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  13. C. Losito

    C. Losito Formula Junior

    Dec 12, 2003
    908
    Metro St. Louis
    Full Name:
    Chris Losito
    Good stuff!
     
  14. VROOM!!!

    VROOM!!! Formula 3

    Feb 11, 2004
    2,478
    Los Angeles
    Full Name:
    Armen
    Men don't PMS!
     
  15. darth550

    darth550 Five Time F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Jul 14, 2003
    58,584
    In front of you
    Full Name:
    BCHC
    I'm guessing it's not an issue with a closet full of (only) black shiny shirts and black wife beaters?

    DL
     
  16. Z0RR0

    Z0RR0 F1 Rookie

    Apr 11, 2004
    3,445
    Montreal, Canada
    Full Name:
    Julien
    Ditto!!!
    LMAO!!! The whole thing is dead on!!!
     
  17. MarkPDX

    MarkPDX F1 World Champ
    Lifetime Rossa

    Apr 21, 2003
    11,117
    Gulf Coast
    Take it easy on Carbie, he also has to decide if the food stains are thick enough to actually merit washing clothes and which pair of goggles to wear.
     

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